In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

In recent days, several states have implemented laws against
age
discrimination
while
hiring.
This
can cause both pros and cons to countries.
However
, in my opinion, I consider
such
laws to be positive development since the disadvantages have outweighed the advantages.
On the contrary
, a ton of drawbacks when the governments do not allow employers to recruit someone
due to
their
age
.
Firstly
, if we talk about young individuals, some companies do not allow teenagers to apply for some positions which causes pupils to have no experience.
Secondly
, older workers may lose their salary, leading to becoming poor
due to
their expenditures, including food, medicine, clothes, education, and many more.
On the other hand
, there are multiple merits. As I mentioned before, business companies do not allow teenagers to their position at their
age
which means they have only a few experiences or have even not finished high school yet,
this
can make the student learn more for their knowledge.
As a result
,
this
can make that country have more intelligent people which can make upward economy and can help the majority of the population to become wealthy. As more geniuses, society can make a lot of advanced progress in their nation.
Moreover
, some elderly person cannot do physical occupations
due to
their well-being, so
this
may affect their physical health which is dangerous for them. In conclusion, with
age
comes wisdom and knowledge but
also
leads to physical well-being.
Therefore
, legislation for job applications from youth is a necessary and positive development.
Submitted by Jinyada5910 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the main points made in the essay correspond consistently to the topic and each paragraph focuses on a clear idea or argument. Your essay sometimes drifts away from the central issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are in place, but they need to be clearer and more focused on the task statement. Your introduction could clearly state your position related to the subject and the conclusion could better summarize your view.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task; it seems to discuss both sides and the conclusion appears to take a stand. However, the points you present are, at times, generic and do not fully delve into the nuances of age restrictions in employment. Be more specific and detailed in your argumentation.
task achievement
Work on clarifying your ideas and organizing them logically throughout your essay. Each main idea should be easily distinguishable and thoroughly explored before moving on to the next.
task achievement
Develop your arguments by including more specific, relevant examples that are directly related to the issue of age discrimination in employment. General statements should be substantiated with concrete details.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age diversity
  • combat age discrimination
  • job opportunities
  • experienced individuals
  • vast knowledge
  • suboptimal hiring decisions
  • legal compliance
  • reverse discrimination
  • operational costs
  • health insurance
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