IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

There are many benefits to a good eduction. Therefore, a university education should be offered to all students, not just students with good high school grades. Do you agree or disagree?

University
education
Use synonyms
 provides many benefits in the modern era and,
thus
Linking Words
, must be available to all
students
Use synonyms
 regardless of their grades. I fairly believe that higher
education
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 is essential for all
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, high academic performance from the school should
also
Linking Words
 be considered for any additional
support
Use synonyms
.
Education
Use synonyms
 is one of the most basic needs of a society. In today's world, the governments of developing and developed countries have already tried to
fulfill
Use the right word
fulfil
show examples
 those needs by offering free
education
Use synonyms
 for all children
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, a university degree is still a dream of many people in
undeveloped
Use the right word
underdeveloped
show examples
 nations. Those nations not only have limited resources to establish the colleges, but
also
Linking Words
 cannot financially
support
Use synonyms
 the learning process of
students
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Africa reports a lack of
Use synonyms
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 institutions and many young individuals are forced either to work or pay expensive tuition fees to study abroad.
However
Linking Words
, providing inclusive
education
Use synonyms
 should not mistreat the efforts of
students
Use synonyms
 who are studying hard
aiming
Punctuation problem
, aiming
show examples
 to achieve excellent grades. All endeavours should be noticed, and if any additional
support
Use synonyms
 exists, be rewarded fairly.
Students
Use synonyms
 with high academic performance usually have more opportunities to acquire additional financial
support
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Kazakhstani
students
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 whose marks are higher than the average
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 acquire an increased stipend because of the enormous efforts they have
applied
Verb problem
made
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 university
education
Use synonyms
 must be inclusive to every student by fulfilling the basic needs of a society, I believe that individual efforts by achieving high grades should be treated respectively.

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Task response
Task Response: The essay states a view that higher education should be open to all and gives some examples. To get a higher score, make your main stance very clear in the first part, keep a steady flow of reasons, and add more proof. Try to state three clear ideas and end with a short verdict.
Coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The text has a clear order with an intro, body, and conclusion. Some long lines slow the flow. Use simple links like and, but, also, for example to join ideas. Start each paragraph with a clear main idea and keep ideas linked to the last sentence.
Task response
Clear stance on the topic.
Coherence and cohesion
Good order: intro, body, and conclusion with linking words.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • equal opportunity
  • holistic development
  • traditional academics
  • nurture and enhance
  • broader talent pool
  • tapping into talents
  • aptitudes
  • socio-economic disparities
  • lifelong learning
  • adapting to changing job markets
What to do next:
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