IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows intended length of stay immigrants to the UK 2000-2008. The pie chart shows reasons for migration, 2008

The line graph below shows intended length of stay immigrants to the UK 2000-2008. The pie chart shows reasons for migration, 2008
The line graph shows how many
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 immigrants stayed in the UK between 2000 and 2008. The pie chart
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 the reasons for migration in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of migrants who stayed more than 4
years
Use synonyms
 or less than 2
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 more compared to immigrants who stayed between 2 and
years
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of them went to the UK to study and work. As the line graph shows, the number of migrants who stayed up to 2
years
Use synonyms
 started at 150 in 2000
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
and it increased moderately to 250 in 2004
it
Punctuation problem
. It
show examples
 remained unchanged until 2008. Coming to
immigrant
Fix the agreement mistake
immigrants
show examples
 who stayed over 4
years
Use synonyms
 started at 150 in 2000 and stayed constant until 2008. The figure of immigrants who stayed between 2 and 4
years
Use synonyms
 experienced a gradual growth from 50 to 100 between 2000 and 2008. Regarding the pie chart, the two
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for migration
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 work with 38 % and study with 32 % .
Then
Linking Words
, 16 % of people migrated because of
accompany
Wrong verb form
accompanied
show examples
 or
join
Wrong verb form
joined their
show examples
 family. The lowest percentage
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 in other and no reason
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 7 per cent.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 7 times.
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