Some people think the government should take measures regarding the healthy lifestyles of individuals. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

It is an undeniable fact that health is considered a crucial part of human beings.
Although
Linking Words
many people consider that the government should come forward and find solutions to live in good shape, others believe that small eating habits and spare time for exercise can merely managed by individuals. As far as I am concerned, there are plenty of other issues which are already addressed by the authorities
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, it is not a good idea to put the burden on them. On the one hand, the government have full control over institutes and restaurants.They supervise these centres to facilitate the public's active lifestyles. The authority visits restaurants and checks their meal quality, regulates them , and restricts them from providing the nation with clean and Nutritious
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, states organise physical activities
such
Linking Words
as exercise, sports events, intra-school support competitions , etc , in schools and colleges that have a good impact on students' fitness.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the Establishment organises Public care awareness seminars in the cities to make people aware of the importance of well-being.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they keep cities clean of garbage , a well-sewerage system to facilitate society's good growth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Individual choice matters; it's totally up to a person to maintain their physical state by avoiding junk
food
Use synonyms
and instant meals, eating a Well-balanced diet to maintain their diet. As
food
Use synonyms
has a direct impact on one's lifestyle, if someone consumes nourishing
food
Use synonyms
, their body parts remain perfect.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if somebody exercises regularly and works out at the gym, it protects them from several fatal diseases , which result in a Strong
life
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, research shows that physical activity does not extend your
life
Use synonyms
period but improves the quality of your
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
a majority think that the government is in power and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
put
Verb problem
impose
show examples
strict laws on local restaurants that
are providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
, one emphasises that only individuals can change themselves by implementing a healthy diet in their daily
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I opine that running and exercise are two excellent ways to maintain a superior physique.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan your essay with three parts: an intro, body on both sides, and a clear end with your view.
structure
Give your view in the end in a strong and clear way and repeat why you hold it.
linking
Use easy linking words so the flow from one idea to the next stays smooth: also, but, however, for example.
grammar
Fix small grammar and word use, use simple, correct form, and mind spelling.
content
The writing gives a view on the topic and tries to use both sides.
structure
The essay uses two side ideas with clear 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • rules
  • laws
  • taxes
  • ads
  • advertising
  • junk food
  • healthy food
  • exercise
  • health
  • public health
  • campaign
  • school meals
  • work place
  • education
  • choice
  • freedom
  • responsibility
  • cost
  • benefit
  • risk
  • ban
  • label
  • warning
  • policy
  • balance
  • support
  • improve
What to do next:
Look at other essays: