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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people are opting for and consuming ready-made food instead of freshly cooked food. Does this practice has more advantages than disadvantages? Discuss

In the modern world, the tendency for ready-made
food
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 is becoming more and more popular over freshly
cookedfood
Correct your spelling
cooked food
. I believe
,
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apply
show examples
 that freshly cooked dishes
better
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are better
show examples
 than premade for reasons which I will outline in the following essay.
To begin
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 with, premade
food
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 can be faster and more convenient for people
,
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apply
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 who do not have enough
time
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 for cooking, because most of the
time
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 it takes more than an hour.
For instance
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, usually I buy premade
food
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 like potato deger, because of the hard and long process of making and they are tastier than mine. It can easily help me
to
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apply
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save
time
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,
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apply
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 when I
should do
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have
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 other tasks.
Furthermore
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, some dishes have a better taste after they were frozen, like chips or pelmeni,
also
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 they were made by professional chefs, so the quality of
this
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food
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 is much better than at home.
On the other hand
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, ready-made
food
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 most of the
time
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 was frozen
,
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;
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 during
this
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 process , most of the good bacteria and elements died, which made
this
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 dish not useful as it was.
Moreover
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, you should think twice before buying
food
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 in a new place and check the expiry date carefully.
Also
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,
food
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 can be junk or have too much sugar or salt, more than date normal amount, to make it tastier and make you addicted to it. In conclusion, we are all too familiar with the popular movement towards fast
food
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.
While
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this
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 option drastically saves our
time
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 for private life and activities, I totally believe that it has more negative factors, as
this
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 adversely affects our health . Had ready-made
food
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 companies provided people with diverse menus,
this
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 movement would not have been so harmful to humans.

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improvement
Plan your essay with a clear view on both sides. State your main idea in the intro and keep it in the body.
tip
Use a topic sentence for each paragraph and keep sentences short and direct.
improvement
Check spelling and grammar. Fix wrong words and typos like 'deger' and 'pelmeni'.
fact-checking
Be careful with facts about food. Some statements are not true or are vague.
tip
Use simple yet exact examples. Tie them to your main idea to show balance and logic.
strength
There is a clear view and a basic structure (intro, body, conclusion).
strength
Linking words such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' help flow.
strength
The attempt to weigh two sides shows task intent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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