IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #levels #education #schools #university #time #facts #skills
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The issue of study curriculum has sparked considerable debate in recent times. Some people contend that since we were in primary school to university, schools tend to teach more about learning
facts
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of learning practical
skills
Use synonyms
. In my point of view, I partly agree with the perspective given.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss some reasons in support of my view. On the one hand, there are some arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the idea that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
lack
Use synonyms
 of curriculum for practical
skills
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 all levels of education.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, learning
facts
Use synonyms
 alone can not help
students
Use synonyms
 develop in all aspects. They only know about the
facts
Use synonyms
 but can not do it in actual life, creating a
lack
Use synonyms
 of practical
skills
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, actual
skills
Use synonyms
 nowadays are becoming more crucial not only for
students
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 for anyone.
Besides
Linking Words
 learning subjects at school, some others about life
skills
Use synonyms
 like how to prevent fire or escape from several dangerous circumstances need to be
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
 in real life.
For example
Linking Words
, only learning
facts
Use synonyms
 can not help
students
Use synonyms
 have enough experience to face actual situations and figure out the solutions.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are several reasons against the statement that too much time is spent on learning
facts
Use synonyms
 and not enough on learning practical
skills
Use synonyms
 for children from primary school to university. One main argument would be that to learn practical
skills
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 must have enough knowledge from learning
facts
Use synonyms
. Some
students
Use synonyms
 did not pay attention to learning
facts
Use synonyms
 in several lessons so when the practical learning lessons came, they could not follow all of the directions provided by the teacher because of the
lack
Use synonyms
 of knowledge. Another argument would be the
lack
Use synonyms
 of time spent on each lesson.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
students
Use synonyms
 have a large number of subjects and learning materials to finish so they can not pay attention to something they believe is a waste of time. All in all, the
facts
Use synonyms
 mentioned above have created a dilemma when people evaluate the effects of
this
Linking Words
 issue, and it has still sparked controversy in recent years. I personally believe that it could have both sides, people should have
further
Linking Words
 consideration on
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Submitted by mgnm140307 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay presents relevant arguments on both sides of the issue, but it could benefit from more specific examples and clearer elaboration of the points made. Try to provide concrete instances or statistics to back up your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure there is a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph that directly connects to the question. This will help in developing your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, the transition between ideas can be smoother. Use more linking words and phrases to ensure a fluid progression from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction is engaging and clearly states your position. The conclusion should also effectively summarize and restate the main arguments without simply repeating them.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence variety and reducing minor grammatical errors to ensure your writing is clear and professional. This can significantly enhance the readability of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, demonstrating an effort to provide a balanced view. This is a positive approach and shows an understanding of the complexity of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is generally logical, with clear paragraphs dedicated to different aspects of the argument. This helps in maintaining focus and clarity.
task achievement
The writer makes some valid and insightful points about the importance of practical skills in education alongside theoretical knowledge.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: