IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree ?

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The issue of study curriculum has sparked considerable debate in recent times. Some people contend that since we were in primary school to university, schools tend to teach more about learning
facts
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instead
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 of learning practical
skills
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. In my point of view, I partly agree with the perspective given.
This
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 essay will discuss some reasons in support of my view. On the one hand, there are some arguments in
favor
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favour
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 of the idea that there
are
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is
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lack
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 of curriculum for practical
skills
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in
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at
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 all levels of education.
To begin
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 with, learning
facts
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 alone can not help
students
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 develop in all aspects. They only know about the
facts
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 but can not do it in actual life, creating a
lack
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 of practical
skills
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.
Furthermore
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, actual
skills
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 nowadays are becoming more crucial not only for
students
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 but
also
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 for anyone.
Besides
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 learning subjects at school, some others about life
skills
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 like how to prevent fire or escape from several dangerous circumstances need to be
practiced
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practised
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 in real life.
For example
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, only learning
facts
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 can not help
students
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 have enough experience to face actual situations and figure out the solutions.
On the other hand
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, there are several reasons against the statement that too much time is spent on learning
facts
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 and not enough on learning practical
skills
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 for children from primary school to university. One main argument would be that to learn practical
skills
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,
students
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 must have enough knowledge from learning
facts
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. Some
students
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 did not pay attention to learning
facts
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 in several lessons so when the practical learning lessons came, they could not follow all of the directions provided by the teacher because of the
lack
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 of knowledge. Another argument would be the
lack
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 of time spent on each lesson.
For instance
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, some
students
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 have a large number of subjects and learning materials to finish so they can not pay attention to something they believe is a waste of time. All in all, the
facts
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 mentioned above have created a dilemma when people evaluate the effects of
this
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 issue, and it has still sparked controversy in recent years. I personally believe that it could have both sides, people should have
further
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 consideration on
this
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 issue.

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task achievement
The essay presents relevant arguments on both sides of the issue, but it could benefit from more specific examples and clearer elaboration of the points made. Try to provide concrete instances or statistics to back up your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure there is a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph that directly connects to the question. This will help in developing your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, the transition between ideas can be smoother. Use more linking words and phrases to ensure a fluid progression from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction is engaging and clearly states your position. The conclusion should also effectively summarize and restate the main arguments without simply repeating them.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence variety and reducing minor grammatical errors to ensure your writing is clear and professional. This can significantly enhance the readability of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, demonstrating an effort to provide a balanced view. This is a positive approach and shows an understanding of the complexity of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is generally logical, with clear paragraphs dedicated to different aspects of the argument. This helps in maintaining focus and clarity.
task achievement
The writer makes some valid and insightful points about the importance of practical skills in education alongside theoretical knowledge.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • practical application
  • real-world skills
  • memorization of facts
  • demonstration of understanding
  • technological change
  • problem-solving
  • teamwork
  • hands-on experience
  • internships
  • project-based learning
  • curricula
  • entrepreneurship
  • adaptive workforce
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