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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart shows the survey findings of caffeine expenditures and drinking habits categorised into the population who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
,
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 and who went to a cafe in the following cities
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 Sydney,
Melbourne
Use synonyms
, Brisbane,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 and Hobart.
Overall
Linking Words
, citizens who preferred to go to a cafe for drinking
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea showed an upward trend in all regions except
Adelaide
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 those who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 presented a downward trend in all regions.
However
Linking Words
, there was a fluctuation in the rates of people who bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
. Hobart and
Melbourne
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 recorded a massive percentage in going to a cafe, reaching more than 60%.
However
Linking Words
, individuals in
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 presented the lowest percentage in visiting cafes, around 39%.
According to
Linking Words
 the
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
, Brisbane and Hobart illustrated similar rates,
while
Linking Words
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 was approximately 50%. People in
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 were lower in to buy
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
, by around 48%,
whereas
Linking Words
 Sydney reached the lowest portions, by almost 44%. Buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was less common in all countries. In Sydney, around 43% of the population likely bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
. Following them in a similar percentage,
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 recorded 43%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Brisbane and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 respectively presented the same numbers, nearly 35% which showed the lowest figure among other countries.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, instant, melbourne, adelaide with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • coffee
  • tea
  • buy
  • bought
  • drinking
  • drink
  • people
  • city
  • cities
  • survey
  • chart
  • result
  • main
  • feature
  • pattern
  • trend
  • compare
  • difference
  • more
  • less
  • most
  • least
  • all
  • some
  • many
  • daily
  • weekly
  • take-away
  • cafe
  • shop
  • home
  • work
  • daily
  • weekly
  • percentage
  • percent
  • price
  • cost
  • money
  • time
  • day
  • week
  • pause
  • note
  • identify
  • highlight
  • possible
  • balance
  • drinkers
  • buyers
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