IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that teenagers spend too much time on social media. Write an essay in which you give your own opinion about this issue and propose solutions to it.

In today’s interconnected world, people share more similarities than ever before, particularly in the ways they entertain themselves.
For instance
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, video game consoles
such
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 as the PlayStation are enjoyed by teenagers across the globe.
However
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, the widespread use of
such
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 devices,
as well as
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 social apps, raises serious concerns regarding their long-term effects on individuals’ lives. Over the
last
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 two decades, social media like TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram have transformed the way young people spend their time. These applications provide entertainment, educational content, and opportunities to connect with others worldwide. Yet, excessive use has become a significant issue. Recent reports suggest that the majority of teenagers spend more than five hours daily on these hosters, which can negatively affect their concentration, sleep, and
overall
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 well-being. To address
this
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, both parents and governments play a crucial role. Parents should monitor their children’s screen time and encourage them to balance digital use with outdoor or family activities,
such
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 as sports or nature walks. At the same time, governments could impose regulations requiring social platform companies to implement daily usage limits, ensuring that young users do not spend excessive hours online. In conclusion,
while
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 technology and social media offer numerous benefits, they can
also
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 be harmful if used without moderation. Striking a balance between online engagement and healthy real-world activities is essential, and both individuals and authorities must work together to achieve
this
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.

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structure
State your own clear view in the first sentence and keep it in mind as you write.
grammar
Use simple and direct words. For example, say 'these apps' instead of 'hosters'.
content
Give more step‑by‑step ideas for how parents and government can act, with clear examples.
coherence
Link your ideas with easy connectors (and, but, also, because).
style
Check spelling and phrase use often to keep a calm, plain style.
structure
Shows a good plan: problem, effect, and solution.
coherence
Uses clear transitions like However, To address this, In conclusion.
content
Gives concrete steps for parents and government.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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