IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some museum and art galeries charge admission fees while other have free entry. Do you think the advantages of admission fees outweigh the disadvantages.

In the modern
eon
Check wording
era
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,
Museums
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 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 are crucial to educate historical knowledge and
entertainment
Verb problem
provide entertainment
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 for the society. In my viewpoint,
admission
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 for
art
Use synonyms
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
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 and
museums
Use synonyms
 are more beneficial than their drawbacks. The advantages and disadvantages will be examined
further
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To initial
Wrong verb form
Initially
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, there are several benefits which
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
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 that
admission
Use synonyms
charges
Use synonyms
 for two public buildings are important.
First,
Linking Words
with funding, administrators can constantly improve the structure. The
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 can
renewed
Verb problem
be renewed
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 when necessary.
In addition
Linking Words
, with the
entry
Use synonyms
charges
Use synonyms
,
infrastructure
Correct article usage
the infrastructure
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 and building can be renovated.
Next,
Linking Words
entry
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 can give limited access to people
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 visitors can enjoy the environment of
musuems
Correct your spelling
museums
 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 without any crowd.
Moreover
Linking Words
, sometimes children disrupt
art
Use synonyms
 by running and with a loud noise. So,
admission
Use synonyms
charges
Use synonyms
 will help to renovate these two public
bulidings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 and give access to fewer people.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
entry
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 are
drawback
Correct article usage
a drawback
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 for
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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people who are not capable of
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
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 any amount, but they are interested
to provide
Change preposition
in providing
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 historical knowledge
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their children and entertainment for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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 government
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows that some children want to gain historical knowledge
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 their parents cannot afford the
admission
Use synonyms
charges
Use synonyms
 of
museums
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 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the positive effect of
admission
Use synonyms
charges
Use synonyms
 for
museums
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 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
 the disadvantages. The reasonable price is
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 solution, so everybody can afford that one.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can have a knock-on effect,
entry
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 can help to maintain neat and clean
museums
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
, and
renovated
Verb problem
be renovated
show examples
 at
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
show examples
 time without any distractions.

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Task Response
Plan before you write. State your view in one line at the start. Then give two or three reasons.
Coherence
Put one idea in each paragraph. Use 'First,', 'Next,', 'Finally' to show order.
Coherence
Finish with a short conclusion that restates your view.
Grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Fix 'museums' and 'buildings' and other easy errors.
Content
Use clear examples that support each point.
Strength
The writer shows a clear view.
Strength
Some linking and order are present.
Strength
Attempts to discuss both sides.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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