IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Write a letter to the transport officer about a problem with the system in your area please say Describe the situation you are facing  why do you consider considerate a problem? What changes would you like to recommend?

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
inform
Verb problem
to inform
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 you about an issue with bus transportation, and would like to propose some
potencial
Correct your spelling
potential
 solutions. I am Rushabh Patel, and reside
of
Change preposition
at
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 33 Almayo
cresent
Correct your spelling
Crescent
. Recently, I have
an
Correct article usage
apply
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experinced singnificant
Correct your spelling
experienced significant
 delays in the arrival of city buses at bus stops. As a frequent user of city
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 to
daily
Correct word order
apply
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commute to work
,
Correct word order
daily, made
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made
Correct pronoun usage
it made
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 it extremely difficult to reach on
a
Correct article usage
apply
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time because of
uncertain
Correct article usage
the uncertain
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 schedule of buses.
This
Linking Words
delays
Fix the agreement mistake
delay
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is
Verb problem
apply
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not only
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 me but
also
Linking Words
 impacts local residents. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
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, a lot of workers get a warning letter from
Correct pronoun usage
their employee
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employee
Replace the word
employer
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 about punctuality.
This
Linking Words
 is evident that
this
Linking Words
 problem needs an urgent solution. I would like to suggest that
immediately
Correct pronoun usage
you immediately
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 appoint an officer to investigate
problem
Correct article usage
the problem
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throughly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
 and
should
Verb problem
apply
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take
an
Correct article usage
apply
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action to
reach
Verb problem
ensure
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 buses
on
Verb problem
arrive on
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 time. Your faithfully, Rushabh Patel

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task response
Task Response: The letter states the issue and gives a plan, but it lacks many facts and a clear main request. Add precise dates, places, and a clear ask.
coherence
Coherence: The ideas jump. Use one idea per paragraph and link phrases to move from problem to impact to fix.
greeting closing
Greeting and Closing: You have 'Dear Sir/Madam' and a closing, but the closing should be 'Yours faithfully,' and the address line can be cleaned.
paragraphing
Single Idea Per Paragraph: Put each point in its own paragraph: 1) the problem, 2) effects, 3) what you want done.
task completion
Complete Response: State who should act, what actions, and by when. Add contact details.
tone
Tone: Keep formal, and fix spelling. Use clear, polite form.
format
Polite opening and closing.
content
States the issue and its effect.
content
Requests action to fix the issue.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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