IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Customers
Use synonyms
 regard
innovation
Use synonyms
 as essential, and to appeal to them, companies
prioritize
Use the right word
prioritise
show examples
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
 of their
products
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore why novelty plays
such
Linking Words
 an indispensable role in advertising and
subsequently
Linking Words
 examine its demerits on society. Highlighting the uniqueness of
products
Use synonyms
 perfectly aligns with buyers' demands and sellers' purposes. Be it expensive or cheap, new gadgets, which
symbolize
Use the right word
symbolise
show examples
 progress and inferiority, easily spark
customers
Use synonyms
' curiosity. By purchasing new items, buyers can live a
fashion
Replace the word
fashionable
show examples
 and trendy lifestyle, which may help them separate from others. Companies highlighting the novelty of their
products
Use synonyms
 tangibly gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exposure and visibility to boost their sales;
for example
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, Apple holds a webinar called the Worldwide Developers Conference, where they announce their updated
products
Use synonyms
. Apart from these explanations, the stunning rate of social developments actually implies that economic productivity and individual awareness should keep abreast of the times
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 one of the typical demonstrations is the rapid product
innovation
Use synonyms
 campaigns.
Capitalizing
Use the right word
Capitalising
show examples
 on the
creativeness
Replace the word
creativity
show examples
 of items brings various consequences. What comes first is consumers' anxiety raised by peer influences
causing
Punctuation problem
, causing
show examples
 some unreasonable expenditures and publicity stunts targeting their psychological needs.
Customers
Use synonyms
 buy most
products
Use synonyms
 merely used, and
hence
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 drop them once
Correct pronoun usage
they expired
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expired
Wrong verb form
expire
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, which forms a vicious
wasting
Check wording
apply
show examples
circle.
Moreover
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,
although
Linking Words
 marketers are well-acquainted with
innovation
Use synonyms
 gimmicks, aimless updates
represents
Correct subject-verb agreement
represent
show examples
 unnecessary economic costs and useless improvements. Some enterprises frequently unveil
products
Use synonyms
 that simply change their appearances to stimulate sales, albeit making more profits in the short term, eventually resulting in weaker creativity and less competitiveness. In conclusion, central to business promotion is items' advancement and
innovation
Use synonyms
, which whets
customers
Use synonyms
'
appitites
Correct your spelling
appetites
 and increases businesses' sales. Yet I strongly believe remedies behind
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon should not be ignored.

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task
Make your view clear in the end. Say if you think novelty in ads is good or bad and why.
structure
Link ideas in order. Start a new idea with a topic sentence and use simple links like 'also', 'but', 'therefore'.
content
Use one clear idea per paragraph. Support it with a simple example.
style
Use short, plain words. Avoid long phrases and hard words.
content
The topic is clear and you discuss both sides.
content
Some real example (Apple) is used to show a point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovation
  • Fast-paced
  • Distinguishing
  • Psychological aspect
  • Inherently
  • Perceived
  • Continuous improvement
  • Revolutionary
  • Feasible
  • Throwaway culture
  • Undervalue
  • Longevity
  • Obscure
  • Novelty
  • Unsatisfactory
What to do next:
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