IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise, they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience. (Theme 1ta)

Many individuals think that children's free time should always be to occupy oneself with useful matters
,
Punctuation problem
;
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otherwise
Linking Words
, time is wasted. In my opinion, for good work, good rest is
also
Linking Words
 needed for reasons which I will outline in the following essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, children can use their age irregularly for different useless activities, which makes their timetable messy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, educational activities can reduce laziness, provide more discipline and occupy their
date
Check wording
time
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 with things which will help them in the future.
For instance
Linking Words
, statistic in the UK shows that most part of
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 after school have additional lessons that help students catch up with the programme or develop their strengths. These youngsters are showing better academic performance and differ from
group
Correct article usage
the group
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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rest
Correct subject-verb agreement
rests
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 after classes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, childhood is the best era to play outside with friends and behave like a child, because in the future, life will consist of tasks, responsibilities, and other adult concerns. Little youngsters can not be that disciplined and diligent, which
makes
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leads to
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 some problems with the lessons after a long day at school.
For instance
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, сhildren who do not have busy schedules tend to be happier and better able to organise their day without overdoing it. I think that
this
Linking Words
 better option than workaholism. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 giving a happy childhood and protecting the child from workaholism, a more positive perspective than better academic performance and discipline. On balance, I believe that to give free time to waste and feel freedom from childhood is the best option.

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task
Your answer has a view and some reason. Make your main idea clear in the first paragraph. State your position clearly.
coherence
In each paragraph, stick to one main idea. Use a clear link sentence to show how ideas connect.
task
Give at least one clear and real example for each idea. Explain how the example supports your point.
language
Use simple words and short sentences. Check grammar where needed to avoid errors.
planning
The essay gives a clear view and tries to compare sides.
coherence
The use of 'On the other hand' shows balance.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
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