IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The government should put a tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to have healthy life. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been observed that modern lifestyles have led to a surge in diet-related
health
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 issues
such
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 as obesity, diabetes, and heart disease.
Although
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 some
people
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 believe that individuals should have the freedom to choose what they eat without government interference, I firmly argue that the government should impose a tax on unhealthy
food
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 to encourage healthier living. My justification is elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs with relevant examples. The foremost argument to justify my stand is that taxing unhealthy
food
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 can reduce its consumption.
For example
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, when sugary drinks were taxed in countries like Mexico and the UK, their sales dropped significantly.
This
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 is mainly because higher prices discourage frequent purchases, especially among low-income consumers.
Besides
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this
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, it is
also
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 true that
people
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 tend to reconsider their choices when healthier options become more affordable in comparison.
Furthermore
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, another reason to prove my point is the potential for public
health
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 improvement.
For instance
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, reducing the intake of processed and high-fat foods can lower the risk of chronic diseases.
In addition
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 to that, the revenue generated from
such
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 taxes can be reinvested into
health
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 education, fitness programs, and subsidies for fresh produce—creating a positive cycle of wellness.
On the contrary
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, some
people
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 counterclaim the mentioned subject. The foremost argument they present is that
food
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 choices are personal and should not be
penalized
Use the right word
penalised
show examples
 by the government. But I do not agree because public
health
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 is a shared responsibility, and the consequences of poor dietary habits affect society as a whole
—
Punctuation problem
,
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through rising healthcare costs and reduced productivity.
Moreover
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, the tax does not ban unhealthy
food
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; it simply nudges
people
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 toward better decisions.
To conclude
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 the discussion, it can be said that despite the fact that some view
food
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 taxation as an infringement on personal freedom, and worry about its impact on consumer choice, my reasons that it reduces unhealthy consumption and improves public
health
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 are logically convincing and reasonable.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first sentence of the essay.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea and use clear links between ideas.
task response
Add more direct proof or data for your points and explain how they show your idea.
coherence
Keep sentences in a simple, short form and break long lines for easy reading.
task response
Clear view on the issue
coherence
Good use of real life example (sugary drink tax)
coherence
Ideas are easy to follow

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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