IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The main purpose of public libraries should be to provide books. Public libraries should not spend their limited resources on computer software, videos, or DVDs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The initial purpose of public
libraries
Use synonyms
 is to provide
books
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. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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libraries
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 should not spend their limited budget on computer devices and DVDs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
since
Change preposition
apply
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in places like
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libraries
Add a comma
libraries,
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 we can find different types of
books
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, starting from historical and ending with documentary
books
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. It is a facility that' s main idea is to keep us literate and intelligent.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it can provide subjects that the internet lacks.
For example
Linking Words
, there is a lack of information related to
kazakh
Fix capitalization
Kazakh
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 ornaments on the websites, but only public
libraries
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 can share the data about it.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of spending money on DVDs and computers,
libraries
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 should keep updating
books
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 by purchasing new bestsellers. And nowadays places with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of devices attract more people
due to
Linking Words
 people seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
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peace that can be provided mainly with noiseless
libraries
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the initial purpose of book stores should be kept
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 budget should be spent on
books
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Your view is clear, but you have little talk on other sides. Add one more good reason and a short closing line to show how books and help health or life fit together.
coherence and cohesion
The flow from one idea to the next is not strong. Use a plan: first, then, next, finally. Use simple linking words like first, also, but, and, in addition, finally. Make one idea per part and cut long notes.
task response
Clear stand on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You try to link ideas with simple words.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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