IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
In the
Change preposition
The
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 line chart presented
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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shows the number of people
multiple
Verb problem
working multiple
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 kinds of work in one part of Australia between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2001 and 2008. The line of work with the most employed people is sales
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 has been the main job in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2001 and
2008
Punctuation problem
2008,
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exceding
Use the right word
exceeding
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and
Correct word choice
apply
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other jobs in the job market in that specific region
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 about 150 thousand workers.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 farming is the least
due to
Linking Words
 lower
salarys
Correct your spelling
salaries
 compared to sales and
acounting
Correct your spelling
accounting
, over
Punctuation problem
. Over
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 the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 number of people working in sales has increased
about
Change preposition
by about
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 100 thousand more workers
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
; therefore
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it
Punctuation problem
, it
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the
Verb problem
is the
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 leading job out there,
while
Linking Words
 farming has decreased
of
Change preposition
over
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 the years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment trends
  • workforce
  • sector
  • industry
  • agriculture
  • services
  • economic factors
  • technological advancements
  • policy changes
  • notable increases/decreases
  • statistical data
  • regional employment patterns
  • comparative analysis
  • percentage points
  • employment rate
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