Some people believe that the government should invest more in the arts to enhance cultural development. Others argue that government funding should be spent on more essential areas such as healthcare and education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that the
government
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should allocate more budget
on
Change preposition
to
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the
arts
Use synonyms
to enhance cultural
development
Punctuation problem
development,
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while
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others claim that the
government
Use synonyms
should spend more on essential areas. I firmly believe that the
arts
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can
take
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play
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an important role
to develop
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in developing
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a
nation
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nation,
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even though funding
on
Change preposition
for
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healthcare and education
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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curucial
Correct your spelling
crucial
.
First,
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the
arts
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as paintings, music, and dance are enable to enhance
people
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people,
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especially children's
sense
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, sense
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of
authenticy
Correct your spelling
authenticity
, their
creativities
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creativity
show examples
, and develop their critical thinking skills. If the
government
Use synonyms
invests
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
arts
Use synonyms
, children are able to have more opportunities to experience the
arts
Use synonyms
at schools and that can contribute to
stimulate
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stimulating
show examples
their
creativities
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creativity
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.
Second,
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Cultural development can eventually contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourism and expect to have more tourists from
out side of
Use the right word
outside
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the country.
As a result
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,
It
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it
show examples
can lead to
a economically
Replace the word
economic
show examples
success. In
a
Correct article usage
the
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long term, cultural development can be used as an official cultural exchange with other nations;
therefore
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, it can be effective to have a better relationship with other
country
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countries
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.
For example
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, in recent years, K-POP
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
very popular among young generations
and
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, and
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some singers are recognised as if they are the representatives of Korea, and they contribute to
have
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having
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a good relationship with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other countries.
On the other hand
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, it is
also
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true that there are more essential areas
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such
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, such
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as medical and
education
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education,
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that the
government
Use synonyms
needs to focus on. I believe that they are necessary;
however
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, these areas have
been always
Correct word order
always been
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the priorities when allocating the budget, and the
arts
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have been regarded
less
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as less
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important. In conclusion,
although
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it is vital to spend money on
medicare
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Medicare
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and education, I assume that funding
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
arts
Use synonyms
can play a pivotal role in order to enhance children's
creativities
Check wording
creativity
show examples
and teach them critical thinking skills. Budget on the
arts
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
enable to develop cultural awareness and in
a
Correct article usage
the
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long term, it is expected to contribute to
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
a good connection with other countries.

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grammar
Fix many word errors and miss spellings to make the sense clear.
task management
Make your main point clear in the first part and stay with this view in the essay.
coherence
Use simple links like 'and', 'but', 'also' to tie ideas with a smooth flow.
content
Give more short and true examples that stay on the topic.
content
You show there can be a good part for the arts in a nation.
structure
You tell both sides and say your own view.
example
The use of K-POP as an example shows a real link to culture.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • invest
  • arts
  • cultural
  • development
  • funding
  • essential
  • healthcare
  • education
  • jobs
  • economy
  • tourism
  • businesses
  • creativity
  • society
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • life
  • well-being
  • prioritize
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