Overfishing of the world's oceans threatens many species with extinction and is putting the livelihood of millions of people around the world at risk. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening ?

Overfishing of the
world
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's seas endangers many types with
extermination
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extinction
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and is putting the
living
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lives
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of millions of people around the
world
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at risk. Nowadays,
a
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the
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theme "Overfishing" is
being
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apply
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a
problem
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in the
world
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due to
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fishing in illegal and
uncontroled
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uncontrolled
areas
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by government.
This
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essay will discuss the main problems caused by
this
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issue
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and suggest possible solutions.
This
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theme is
being
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apply
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the
issue
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Linking Words
due to
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because
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our
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apply
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many valuable species of
fishes
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fish
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are disappearing in the
world
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by
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due to
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people
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the people
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who feed your family with
this
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work.
This
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problem
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comes from the government
which
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, which
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can't manage its own land
from
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for
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its hungry citizens.
For example
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, when you forget your phone
on
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in
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a public place, someone sharply
takes
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take
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your phone,
then
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he will use
this
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or sell
.
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it.
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To solve
this
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issue
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, the government should
put
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deploy
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police officers to the
uncontroled
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uncontrolled
areas
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, and check every boat
,
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;
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if something
will be
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is
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found, he should be punished. Another major
problem
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is that overfishing affects the balance of the marine ecosystem. When too many
fish
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are caught, the food chain is disrupted, which leads to negative consequences for other species.
For instance
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, if large amounts of small
fish
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like sardines or anchovies are removed from the sea, bigger
fish
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such
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as tuna and dolphins may struggle to find food, and their population may decline
as a result
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. To solve
this
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problem
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, governments should introduce stricter fishing regulations that limit the number of
fish
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that can be caught in a season. They could
also
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set up protected marine
areas
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where fishing is completely banned to allow
fish
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populations to recover. In conclusion, overfishing is a serious
issue
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that harms both the livelihoods of millions of people and the marine ecosystem. To tackle
this
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problem
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, governments should enforce strict regulations on fishing and protect certain
areas
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of the ocean to allow
fish
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stocks to recover.

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Task Response
Task response: you talk about causes and fixes, but the plan is not very clear. Make a simple map: first cause, then effect, then fix. Stay on one idea per paragraph and give few strong facts.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: use a clear topic sentence at start of each paragraph. Use easy link words like first, next, then, also, but. End with a short closing that restates your main idea.
Strength
The essay shows both cause and fix.
Strength
It uses clear ideas like stricter rules and safe zones.
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