IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe computer games are useful for people while others argue that they are waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 good for
people
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 others consider that they are useless.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
games
Use synonyms
 by
computer
Use synonyms
 are useful for
people
Use synonyms
. The reason is
these
Correct word choice
that these
show examples
games
Use synonyms
 can make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's mood better and forget their problems.
For example
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, gamers
waste
Use synonyms
 their main
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
to play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 these are nice for them, because they earn from
this
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
 amusements are
Use synonyms
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
time
Use synonyms
. The main reason is
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
 can take your more
time
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their interesting
games
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 and isolate you from society.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
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 who read a book
everyday
Use the right word
every day
show examples
 and improve their skills
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
, they prefer that playing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
games
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 may stop
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 brain's improvement
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one place. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 have some important places in anyone's and these are
Use synonyms
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
time
Use synonyms
. Because, when you play the
games
Use synonyms
, you feel like I am happy, but in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real life, you realise that you are not beautiful, you just
waste
Use synonyms
 your valuable
time
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
silly things.
For example
Linking Words
, I have played
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 before,
then
Linking Words
 when I came to
me
Correct pronoun usage
myself
show examples
, I understood that I had spent my more crucial
time
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stupid things. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 are essential for gamers, for intelligent
people
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there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are
Use synonyms
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
time
Use synonyms
.

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tip
Plan before you write. State your view in the first sentence. Then give two reasons and support them with one simple example. Finish with a clear opinion.
tip
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Start with a topic sentence, then give a reason and an example.
tip
Use simple linking words to move from one idea to the next: first, on one hand, however, for example, in conclusion.
tip
Check your grammar and spelling. Fix errors that make the text hard to read.
tip
Keep to the topic. Do not add ideas that do not fit the task.
content
An attempt to discuss both sides and a personal view is present.
structure
There is a closing sentence that signals the end of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Strategic thinking
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Multiplayer interaction
  • Teamwork
  • Educational games
  • Stress relief
  • Mental health
  • Gaming addiction
  • Physical activity
  • Behavioral issues
  • Desensitization
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Time management
  • Eye strain
  • Posture problems
  • Sleep disturbances
What to do next:
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