Nowadays young people have to make the decision about their future career. Some people, however, believe that teachers and parents can make a better choice for their future career. Discuss both options and include your opinion with relevant examples from your own experience.

In recent times,it is often argued that youngsters have to make

decision

Correct article usage

a decision

show examples

about their future

career

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

others think that teachers and parents can make a better choice for their future

Use synonyms

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate on both views

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

an opinion will be explained in subsequent paragraphs On the one hand,one of the main reasons why young

children

Use synonyms

should make their own

choices

Use synonyms

because

Change preposition

that

show examples

it reduces unnecessary pressure.

This

Linking Words

is because,when teenagers are forced to choose

some

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

careers they lack interest in

Punctuation problem

, it

show examples

puts tension on them.They are not able to be themselves.

As a result

Linking Words

,it puts pressure on them to do things they are

not

Rephrase

apply

show examples

not capable of doing.

For instance

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

who are influenced by

family

Correct pronoun usage

their family

show examples

to go into healthcare professional jobs

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

as doctors and midwives.

Due to

Linking Words

little or no interest in

such

Linking Words

works,they end up performing poorly in the fields they find themselves

Change preposition

in.

show examples

Additionally

Linking Words

,when kids are allowed to make

Use synonyms

choices

Punctuation problem

choices,

show examples

it enables them to build

self

Use the right word

self-confidence

show examples

confidence

Use synonyms

Self confident

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Self-confidence

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is one of the most important

tool

Fix the agreement mistake

tools

show examples

children

Use synonyms

need to build a good

career

Use synonyms

Youngster

Punctuation problem

Youngster,

show examples

when given the opportunity to make decisions,it helps boost their

confidence

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

,they are able to fit in any working environment they find themselves

Change preposition

in.

show examples

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

,it prevents people from taking advantage of them.A study conducted

Change preposition

show examples

Cape

coast university

Fix capitalization

Coast University

show examples

revealed that,

confidence

Use synonyms

level in young

children

Use synonyms

who choose their own

Use synonyms

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

higher

Change preposition

than

show examples

compared

Change preposition

show examples

those who are controlled by family and tutors.

This

Linking Words

vividly shows why kids should make their own

choices

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

,many

also

Linking Words

believe that parents have more experience in life and can

therefore

Linking Words

make

choices

Use synonyms

for

children

Use synonyms

.Some guardians have been through so many things and

therefore

Linking Words

know what is good and bad for

children

Use synonyms

For

Linking Words

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

a father who

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

had many years of experience in

Correct article usage

a mechanic

show examples

mechanic

Replace the word

mechanical

show examples

job can influence their wards to choose the same field.

This

Linking Words

will help kids choose careers that are neglected but many but are the best.

A research

Correct determiner usage

Research

show examples

conducted

Change preposition

show examples

Tech University showed that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

most youth in better jobs are influenced by tutors and parents.

This

Linking Words

explains why guardians should contribute

Change preposition

show examples

decision making

Use the right word

decision-making

show examples

in the

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

children

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,even though family and tutors have more experience and can help

children

Use synonyms

choose careers,high

self

Use the right word

self-confidence

show examples

confidence

Use synonyms

and lack of

unecessary

Correct your spelling

unnecessary

pressure that comes with

children

Use synonyms

choosing their

on carer

Use the right word

own career

show examples

can not be ignored.

This

Linking Words

essay

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

, therefore

show examples

therefore

Punctuation problem

therefore,

show examples

believes that

children

Use synonyms

should make their own

choices

Use synonyms

estherduah39

Sep 3, 2025

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Task response

Be clear about your view from the start and keep the same stance to the end.

Task response

Explain each point with a clear, real example and link it to your view.

Coherence and cohesion

Use more linking words to join ideas and make the text flow better.

Grammar

Check spelling and grammar and use short, simple sentences to avoid errors.

Content

The writer tries to cover both sides and adds a final opinion.

Content

Some examples are used to support ideas.

Structure

There is a basic plan with paragraphs and topic ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

391 words

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Nowadays young people have to make the decision about their future career. Some people, however, believe that teachers and parents can make a better choice for their future career. Discuss both options and include your opinion with relevant examples from your own experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Being a celebrity- such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems?

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of the most people's life. Others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.