IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Due to the growing number of overweight people in today's society putting strain on healthcare system, some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to offer more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The possible solutions are supposed to come from the parents to teach their child to have a healthy diet
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and an active lifestyle. offering an adulation about the importance of eating healthy,
as well as
Linking Words
show
Wrong verb form
showing
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 the effects on our bodies if we eat healthy, not to forget about showing the side effects if we eat a lot of sugar, fats, and fast food.
not to mention
Linking Words
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
generation
Check wording
generation's
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 education
toureds
Verb problem
turns to
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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,
wich
Use the right word
which
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 makes them more likely to just sit and do nothing
, they
Punctuation problem
. They
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 need to do some activities,
such
Linking Words
 as
sports
Punctuation problem
sports,
show examples
it's
Use the right word
it is
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 a lot of fun, it's amazing for
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 health, and body. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 eating healthy and working out could prevent you from being overweight.

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task response
Make your view clear at the start. Say if you agree or not and how much.
coherence
Plan your work in four parts: intro, two body parts, and a short ending. Each part has one clear point.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas, such as and, but, also, so. It helps the flow.
grammar
Keep the sentences short and lay words. Check for any big or wrong word.
content
The topic is clear and fits the idea of health and school work.
idea
Some idea on parents’ role and how screens/touch can affect sport.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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