IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps below show a bookstore in 2000 and now

The maps below show a bookstore in 2000 and now
The map below illustrates a bookshop between 2000 and now.
Overall
Linking Words
, the bookstore was turned into
entertaining
Correct article usage
an entertaining
show examples
 place by adding new facilities
such
Linking Words
 as
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 and tables. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it, the entrance
side
Use synonyms
 of it almost remained unchanged. Regarding the map in 2000 , on the north
side
Use synonyms
 of it was
fiction
Correct article usage
a fiction
show examples
 book. After
entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
show examples
there
Punctuation problem
, there
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
located
Verb problem
apply
show examples
travel
books
Use synonyms
 and new
books
Use synonyms
. And on the right corner of the south
side
Use synonyms
 was
service
Correct article usage
a service
show examples
 desk
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 next to it
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
located
Verb problem
apply
show examples
non-fiction
books
Use synonyms
. Moving into
Correct article usage
the
show examples
central part of
bookstore
Correct article usage
the bookstore
show examples
 , there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 three rows
according to
Linking Words
books
Use synonyms
 of art, hobbies and cookery. In today’s plan , the north
side
Use synonyms
 of it is divided into five parts,
such
Linking Words
 as art, hobbies, cookery, fiction and non-fiction
books
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of a big fiction
Use synonyms
books
Fix the agreement mistake
book
show examples
. The location
travel
Punctuation problem
, travel
show examples
, new
books
Use synonyms
 and service desk
is remained
Wrong verb form
remain
show examples
 unchanged.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
on south
Use the right word
in the southern
show examples
 part
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it added new facility,
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 . And the central part of it is
also
Linking Words
 replaced
into
Change preposition
with
show examples
 tables ,
instead
Linking Words
 of three rows .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "instead, such".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words side, books with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: