IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

How do advertisers use psychology to sell products? Many advertisers use psychology to persuade people to buy things. Write about how they do this and whether it is ethical

In recent years,
advertising
Correct article usage
the advertising
show examples
 industry
use
Wrong verb form
has used
show examples
 a lot of
psycho
Correct word choice
psychological
show examples
 tricks to persuade
people
Use synonyms
 to buy new products
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as artificial demand or emotional
appealing
Replace the word
appeal
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 boosting sales is a legitimate aim, I strongly believe that nowadays marketing methods are unethical enough to be questioned.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one of the most
well known
Use the right word
well-known
show examples
psychology
Replace the word
psychological
show examples
strategy
Fix the agreement mistake
strategies
show examples
 is creating an artificial demand around a brand new
product
Use synonyms
. Slogans like "
last
Linking Words
 offer" or "only today" can play on
cosumers
Check wording
cosumers'
show examples
 feelings and a fear of missing
opportunity
Correct article usage
an opportunity
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, lots of
people
Use synonyms
 make impulse purchases and buy unnecessary things, developing consumerism in society.
For example
Linking Words
, online schools
such
Linking Words
 as Skillbox, XYZschool and others often rely on
this
Linking Words
 tactic to persuade
people
Use synonyms
 to buy their services.
This
Linking Words
 is what
called
Verb problem
is called
show examples
 like
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
 feelings
exploiting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another manipulative strategy is an
emotional
Replace the word
emotionally
show examples
 appealing and building
associating
Replace the word
associations
show examples
 between a
product
Use synonyms
 and
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
 fond memories. Marketers often link their
product
Use synonyms
 with sustainable values like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family, love,
childhood
Correct word choice
and childhood
show examples
 to force
people
Use synonyms
 to use their service and buy their
product
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain company is
associating
Wrong verb form
associated
show examples
 with
new
Correct article usage
the new
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 year,
then
Linking Words
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will pay them during
this
Linking Words
 season. In fact,
Coca-cola
Use the right word
Coca-Cola
show examples
 exploit
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
new year
Fix capitalization
New Year
show examples
 theme to sell a lot of bottles
seasonly
Correct your spelling
seasonally
.
This
Linking Words
 type of
promoting
Replace the word
promotion
show examples
 is very powerful, especially toward the very impressionable group of
people
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as children,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
make
Verb problem
are
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
very vulnerable to deceptive tactics.
To consider
Wrong verb form
Considering
show examples
 all
above
Correct article usage
the above
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, whilst advertisers still try to justify their
promoting
Replace the word
promotional
show examples
 methods, I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
completely believe
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 unethical to play with
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
 vulnerabilities and emotions.

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structure
Make a plan before you write. Tell what you will say, then say it in order.
cohesion
Give one idea in each paragraph. Use clear links between lines.
examples
Give clear and real examples. Explain how they show your idea.
grammar
Check small grammar and spelling in the text.
vocabulary
Use plain and short words. Avoid long or hard words.
Strength
You show a clear view on the topic.
Strength
There is good use of linking words to show order.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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