IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Tourism cause more harm than good. Do you agree or disagree?

Tourism
Use synonyms
 is often considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a political and
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 tool to achieve certain goals of a
country
Use synonyms
 by
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 government.
While
Linking Words
 it is true that
tourists
Use synonyms
 could boost the
country
Use synonyms
's economy through
service
Correct article usage
the service
show examples
 and goods market, it causes more harm to the
environment
Use synonyms
 through
distorying
Correct your spelling
destroying
 natural heritages and causing bad influences to societies or communities
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
show examples
 to conflicts.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the statement that
tourism
Use synonyms
 often brings
issues more
Correct word order
more issues
show examples
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
tourists
Use synonyms
 from certain countries often
cause
Use synonyms
distruction
Correct your spelling
destruction
 to
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
 and sensitive heritages. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourists
Use synonyms
 select cheaper countries as travel destinations
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just to enjoy
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 nights
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 rainforests
while
Linking Words
 camping and setting
born-fires
Use the right word
bonfires
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. In many situations, they often leave places completely
distroyed
Correct your spelling
destroyed
while
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 throwing litter everywhere. Even though
this
Linking Words
 is a single act
limitted
Correct your spelling
limited
 to
smaller
Correct article usage
a smaller
show examples
 region, with time it could
cause
Use synonyms
accumulated
Correct article usage
an accumulated
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 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
degradation
Correct article usage
the degradation
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 of
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
de-valuing
Use the right word
devaluing
show examples
 the recognition it holds.
Similarly
Linking Words
, most
western
Fix capitalization
Western
show examples
tourists
Use synonyms
 do not respect the cultural beliefs and certain customs followed by people in the host
country
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
Use synonyms
cause
Verb problem
leads
show examples
 to conflicts. Sometimes,
tourists
Use synonyms
 could influence the young generation of the host
country
Use synonyms
 in bad ways
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
to use
Wrong verb form
using
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 drugs.
This
Linking Words
 is indeed
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 unfavourable situation that could
arise
Verb problem
lead to
show examples
 tense situations and degradation of values
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term.
Therefore
Linking Words
, certain
tourists
Use synonyms
 could influence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in
Correct article usage
an un-healthy
show examples
un-healthy
Use the right word
unhealthy
show examples
 manner to
cause
Use synonyms
 issues.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
 summary,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
tourism
Use synonyms
 could achieve certain
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 goals to enhance the local markets, it could be a reason for more catastrophic
distructions
Correct your spelling
disruptions
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and
leading
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to social conflicts.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I agree that
tourism
Use synonyms
 could bring
harm more
Correct word order
more harm
show examples
 than the benefits it could provide.

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planning
Plan your answer first: state your view at once, then give two or three ideas, and finish with a clear end.
grammar
Check grammar in tricky places and use simple, correct verb forms.
cohesion
Make ideas easy to follow: use topic sentences and link words like also, besides, however.
content
Give clear and small examples for each point, even real and simple ones.
vocabulary
Keep language simple and correct, avoid long, hard words.
structure
The essay shows a clear view and tries to give reasons.
content
There are ideas about both environment and society in travel.
cohesion
The writer makes a good attempt to link ideas across paragraphs.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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