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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

65.The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

65.The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The above chart illustrates different things
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that anthropology graduates did after completing their undergraduate degree from a university. The pie chart shows
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that the largest group of children, which is about 52%, started
a
Correct article usage
apply
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full
Use the right word
full-time
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time
Use synonyms
 work on completion of their degree,
whereas
Linking Words
 about 15% got employed
part
Use the right word
part-time
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time
Use synonyms
. The number of students
,
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 who
,
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further
Linking Words
 continued their education
,
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 and enrolled in a
full
Use the right word
full-time
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time
Use synonyms
 post-grad study was around 8%
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
,
same
Correct article usage
the same
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count
Check wording
number
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 of
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
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 have
status
Correct article usage
a status
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 which is unknown. The rate of unemployed students was alarming at 15%, but there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
Linking Words
 5% individuals who are doing
part
Use the right word
part-time
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time
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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,
while
Linking Words
 continuing their
post grad
Use the right word
post-grad
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 study. The table depicts the
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 of anthropology graduates
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 after 5 years of work. The freelance consultants are earning the most
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 about 40% getting paid between $75000-$100000+.
However
Linking Words
, the graduates employed with private companies are
least
Correct article usage
the least
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 paid, with 35% of them earning between $50000-74999.
The one
Use the right word
Those
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 employed in
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 sector earn moderately better, with around 50% earning more than $50000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • shows
  • what
  • graduates
  • after
  • finishing
  • degree
  • anthropology
  • most
  • many
  • some
  • few
  • work
  • study
  • job
  • career
  • full time
  • part time
  • public
  • private
  • path
  • trend
  • overall
  • in general
  • biggest
  • smaller
  • other
  • more
  • less
  • report
  • conclude
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