IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many students suffer from pressure. For some it is a habit. They do not find enough time to do everything. Examine the causes and offer solutions to help these students.

Working
while
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 studying has become a pervasive habit among
students
Use synonyms
. Many of them suffer from pressure and do not find enough
time
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.
Whereas
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 others do not.
This
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 essay will examine the causes of
this
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 issue and the solutions. On the one hand,
There
Fix capitalization
there
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 are many serious reasons why
students
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 choose to
work
Use synonyms
while
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 studying.
First,
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of money leads
students
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 to
work
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 in part-
time
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 jobs.
For example
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,
expensive
Correct word choice
the high
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 costs of college force them to
work
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-
time
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
Moreover
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, some
students
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 need extra money for their education and entertainment.
Second,
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some people prefer to depend on themselves rather than
relying
Wrong verb form
rely
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 on their parents.
For instance
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, independence can shape a person's personality.
Finally
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, some
students
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 have extra
time
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 after classes. In
this
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 case, they decide to
work
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 and learn new skills.
On the other hand
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, there are many effective solutions.
First,
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a person should choose a flexible job.
Such
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 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
working
Fix capitalization
Working
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 part-
time
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 for two to three hours reduces job stress.
Therefore
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, some studies showed that working in part-
time
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 jobs can increase productivity.
Second,
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governments should provide
students
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 with financial aid.
Also
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, they can offer
a
Correct article usage
apply
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free education
for
Change preposition
to
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 citizens.
Finally
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,
students
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 should learn
time
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 management skills, because
time
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 management is the key to
balance
Wrong verb form
balancing
show examples
 between learning and working. In conclusion, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial necessity forces
students
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 to
work
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.
This
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 problem can be solved through government financial support for
students
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Task response: The essay does answer the task but needs more depth. Add more clear cause and fix ideas and give a short closing that restates your view.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use clear links between points. Keep one idea per sentence and check pronoun use. Improve grammar and fix awkward phrases.
structure
Clear plan with intro, two sides, and a conclusion.
content
Some real reasons and fixes are given, with simple examples.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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