Some people believe that the government should support people who work for arts, such as painting, theatre or music financially. Some people believe that they should find other financial support resources instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is undeniable that
the
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art
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has become one of the fundamentals in every field.
While
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some people are content that governments should support all kinds of arts, there is
also
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an argument that artists should find other financial support resources.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion. On the one hand,
the
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art
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is an integral part of culture.
In other words
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, people from different backgrounds get to know each other through
art
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.
For example
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, sometimes many people get interested in others' culture just because they have heard their music or been fascinated by their customs.
In addition
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,
art
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can enhance the tourism sector in the region. As an example, Italy is one of the countries that paid a lot of attention to creativity;
as a result
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, it became the first destination for tourists.
On the other hand
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, letting the
art
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industry get funded by other financial resources seems a reasonable approach. It is
also
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possible to say that
this
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approach would allow governments to focus more on improving the major fields,
such
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as healthcare, providing shelter to those in need, research, and education.
Moreover
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, investing in other crucial sectors can help developing nations. A study at Waterloo University pointed out that 88% of
civilizations
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civilisations
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throughout history succeeded in leading their countries
due to
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their heavy investment in education and the medical fields. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that a balanced approach, which focuses on the critical fields, yet strong but controlled funding to creativity, is the best.

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task response
Be clear on your main idea in the first line and keep to it in every part of the essay.
coherence
Link ideas with simple joins like and, but, also, for example to show how each part fits.
content
Use more examples that fit the topic and check facts.
grammar
Fix grammar and make short, clear sentences to avoid mistakes.
task response
The essay shows a balance between two sides and states your view.
coherence
There are clear paragraphs and a logical order.
content
Good use of example about culture and tourism.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • art
  • arts
  • culture
  • education
  • access
  • government
  • funding
  • funds
  • fund
  • public
  • private
  • donor
  • sponsor
  • budget
  • policy
  • accountability
  • transparency
  • balance
  • equal
  • opportunity
  • creative
  • creativity
  • growth
  • tourism
  • city
  • local
  • nation
  • future
  • example
  • benefit
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