Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some argue that the most effective way to prevent illness is by tackling environmental
pollution
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and housing shortages. Whilst I agree that these measures are essential for long-term
health
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, I believe that ensuring
access
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to medical treatment is more urgent for the present. Reducing
pollution
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and improving housing conditions undoubtedly contribute to public
health
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. Clean air, safe water, and adequate shelter lower the risk of respiratory infections, malnutrition, and other chronic conditions.
However
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,
such
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improvements require enormous financial investment and decades of coordinated effort.
For example
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, even though many countries have introduced stricter environmental regulations, the effects of industrial
pollution
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and climate change continue to threaten human
health
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.
Similarly
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, large-scale housing projects take years to complete and often face political or financial obstacles.
Therefore
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,
while
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these approaches are valuable, they provide benefits mainly in the long term.
In contrast
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, expanding
access
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to medical care delivers immediate results. By increasing the number of hospitals, clinics, and healthcare professionals, governments can provide faster treatment for those already affected by disease. Universal healthcare schemes,
such
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as those in countries like Sweden or Canada, demonstrate that free or affordable
access
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to doctors and medicine not only improves individual
health
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outcomes but
also
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prevents the spread of communicable diseases.
This
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approach is especially vital during public
health
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crises,
such
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as epidemics, when timely treatment and vaccination can save millions of lives. In conclusion, reducing
pollution
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and addressing housing shortages are crucial strategies for improving long-term
health
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, but they cannot protect populations quickly enough from present-day illnesses. I firmly believe that expanding
access
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to medical care is the most immediate and effective way to prevent disease
while
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societies continue working on long-term environmental and social reforms.

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task
Link ideas more tightly to the prompt. Show how pollution, housing, and medical care affect health now and later.
linguistic
Shorten long lines. Use simpler sentences to improve flow and avoid long errors.
examples
Give a few clear, simple examples or facts to support points.
structure
Make your opening and closing lines very clear about your view, and restate it in the end.
content
Clear view and stance on the issue.
organization
Good structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.
content
Balanced discussion of both sides with a strong main idea.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
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