Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and agas together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some individuals believe
,
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apply
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that
music
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brings different cultures,
as well as
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,
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apply
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ages
together
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, together
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. I strongly agree
to
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with
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this
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point
and
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, and
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I will explicate my point
further
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in
this
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essay. First and foremost,
music
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is the type of art
,
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apply
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that depends less on language
,
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apply
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and more on melody and rhythm. There are some globally famous
music
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albums,
which
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which,
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though
,
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apply
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not understood by individuals of various countries,
but
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apply
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are still enjoyed because of the vibe
it
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they
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creates
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create
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.
For example
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, when an individual
visit
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visits
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a new country
,
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apply
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and
listen
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listens
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to the road
music
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show,
although
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they might not understand it completely,
yet
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apply
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they enjoy it because of the environment established,
thus
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dissolving linguistic barriers
,
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apply
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and integrating different cultures together.
Secondly
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,
music
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also
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brings different age groups together as well, since both youngsters and elders can enjoy
same
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the same
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types of songs.
For example
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, grandparents usually prefer listening to traditional and old songs, which inculcates
interest
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an interest
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in children as well to listen to
such
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music
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. At the same time, when children listen to
latest
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the latest
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music
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, grandparents too have fun with them and enjoy it,
thus
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developing a
bong
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bond
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between two generations. Conclusively, I strongly believe that
music
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definitely brings people from different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
and age groups together by removing language and age barriers.

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planning
State your view clearly in the intro and keep a plan for each para.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, but, so to show order.
lexical
Give more exact examples and fix vague phrases such as road music show.
grammar
Check grammar and break long sentences into small parts.
conclusion
End with a short restatement of your view to close.
position
Clear view that music can bring cultures and ages together.
development
Two ideas are given with some detail.
structure
Intro and ending parts exist.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • culture
  • music
  • people
  • age
  • unite
  • bring together
  • language
  • sound
  • beat
  • rhythm
  • melody
  • song
  • tune
  • concert
  • festival
  • crowd
  • artist
  • learn
  • understand
  • share
  • feel
  • emotion
  • world
  • global
  • mix
  • exchange
  • bridge
  • barrier
  • respect
  • tolerance
  • stereotype
  • tradition
  • identity
  • heritage
  • access
  • equal
  • idea
  • example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: