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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

IELTS In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

In many nations,
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants
Use synonyms
 are decreasing significantly. The primary cause of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is
deforestation
Use synonyms
, and the most viable solution is to educate
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 citizens about
this
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 issue.
Deforestation
Use synonyms
 is one of the most remarkable contributors to reducing the number of living
animals
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 and
plants
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.
In other words
Linking Words
,
deforestation
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 is basically cutting down a specific forest until there are no trees left for multiple reasons,
such
Linking Words
 as building homes
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the site of the forest or building products with the wood.
As a result
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, if there are no
plants
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 left in the forest,
animals
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 will not have homes or even find food;
as a consequence
Linking Words
, animal numbers will start to decline.
For example
Linking Words
, in the US, companies are cutting down trees and
plants
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 for their selfish reasons and leaving
animals
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 with no food
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 homes, and
this
Linking Words
 is why
grizly
Correct your spelling
grizzly
 bears became an endangered species. A long-term solution to
this
Linking Words
 predicament is to educate citizens about the dangers of
deforestation
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. Children in schools could be taught how to stop
deforestation
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 because it kills both
animals
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 and
plants
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, so that the next generation will act more responsibly. They are
also
Linking Words
 likely to teach their parents about the things they learned at school, and adults will be influenced by
this
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 initiative.
For instance
Linking Words
, school children in Brazil were taught about the consequences of treating
plants
Use synonyms
 in a reckless manner and
deforestation
Use synonyms
, and now they have one of the highest rates of wildlife. In conclusion, the number of
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants
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 is being decreased at a staggering rate because of
deforestation
Use synonyms
, and their citizens must be taught about
this
Linking Words
 problem.

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task response
Give more detail for each point. Add facts or clear notes that back up why deforestation hurts many animals and plants, and how we can slow it down.
coherence
Make links between ideas with clear words like first, next, also, but, therefore to help the flow.
structure
In the intro, state a clear plan and in the end restate it.
examples
Use true, simple examples. Make sure the example fits the point and is easy to check.
grammar
Check spelling and form. Fix wrong words like grizly to grizzly, and use smooth phrase.
language potential
Use only easy words. Keep the idea in each paragraph straight and short.
content
Clear main idea in the intro about deforestation and loss of life.
structure
Good order of ideas from cause to fix.
examples
Use of a simple example to show your point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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