Some people think it is better for children to have many short holidays during the year. Others believe that it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vocations. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people argue that it is beneficial for kids to have a lot of short vacations,

while

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others believe that it is advantageous to have fewer, but longer

holidays

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views before presenting my viewpoint. On the one hand, people supporting many short breaks argue that

this

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approach has numerous positive points.

First,

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getting time off often will keep the minds of children fresh, and fresh minds can do better when it comes to studies and co-curricular activities.

Second,

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children can participate in different kinds of sports,

such

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as football, cricket and baseball during these intervals.

For instance

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, one of my colleagues only plays sports during the school leave, because he has no free time during school days.

Third,

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kids can enjoy the free time with their families and friends and can strengthen their bond.

On the other hand

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, critics believe that having fewer and longer

holidays

Use synonyms

is beneficial for children since it brings a lot of benefits. As we all know, students can focus more on their studies when they are given fewer breaks.

Additionally

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, during extended leave, students can go on a long trip with their companions to different parts of the country,

such

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as mountains, beaches and

deserts

Punctuation problem

deserts,

show examples

to relax and restore their energy.

For example

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, my cousins and I used to go to my grandmother’s village to enjoy, feel the presence of nature more closely, and spend our free days happily. In my opinion,

although

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excessively short vacations have numerous benefits, I believe the

overall

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impact of a few

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

long

holidays

Use synonyms

on children’s personal and social life is more beneficial.

Nevertheless

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, a long trip would definitely help the student more, rather than a short 2–3 days off from school. In conclusion,

however

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, many people argue that the benefits of brief breaks are numerous

Punctuation problem

show examples

I believe that the advantages of fewer, longer

holidays

Use synonyms

clearly outweigh

such

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positive points.

fawad.sipra70

Sep 7, 2025

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language

Try to fix some grammar and make the words simpler. Short, clear sentences are easier to read.

ideas

Add more detail to each idea. Say why short holidays help or hurt, and add a stronger reason.

organization

Make each paragraph start with a clear idea and link ideas with simple connect words. Keep a steady flow.

content

The essay shows a clear view and covers both sides.

organization

There is a clear intro, body, and conclusion.

content

The writer uses examples from life to back up points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

315 words

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