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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give tour own opinion.

Undoubtedly, there is much
information
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that is
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 accessible to everyone, and much is not.
While
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 some
people
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 think that it is good to share any kind of
information
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, there is
also
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 an argument that some
information
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 is too important to be shared.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion. On the one hand,
Announcing
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announcing
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information
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 to others is a great thing. In simple words,
such
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 a trend might be a huge turning point in someone's personal or professional life. To
exmplify
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exemplify
 it,
becuase
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because
 of the exposure to a specific kind of
information
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 related to their problems,
people
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 are able to do or solve things differently.
In addition
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, having
information
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 available to anyone can make success achievable.
For example
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, a recent study has pointed out that the accessibility of
information
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 significantly helps
people
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 succeed in their lives.
On the other hand
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, exposing some
information
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 can be dangerous. It is
also
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 possible to say that revealing precious sites where gold or
diamond
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diamonds
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 are might result in conflicts among
people
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.
Moreover
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, sometimes
people
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 may start using some tools or
information
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 in a bad way.
For instance
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, the invention of painkillers has been used to ease surgery for patients;
however
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, many
people
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 started misusing them as drugs or making harmful substances. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question.
Although
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 the availability of
information
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 has numerous benefits, it
also
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 has some drawbacks. In my opinion, a balanced approach, where keeping some risky
information
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 that might harm others
as well as
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 sharing essential
information
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 that benefits others, is the best.

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coherence
Plan your idea before you write. Make each point clear and link it to the task. Use simple, short sentences.
content
Give one strong example for each view and end with your own clear view.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Fix common errors so the message is easy to read.
content
The essay shows both sides and gives an opinion.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
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