IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As the number of working mothers is increasing,some people say that it is impossible for them to be effective at work and home at the same time.To what extent do you agree.

Nowadays, the number of working
mothers
Use synonyms
 is increasing all around the world. Some people argue that it is impossible for them to be effective
both
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 and at
home
Use synonyms
. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion because even though working
mothers
Use synonyms
 face challenges, it is still possible for them to manage
both
Use synonyms
 roles with support. On the one hand, it is true that
mothers
Use synonyms
 have many responsibilities at
home
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as cooking, cleaning and looking after children. These tasks are very time-consuming, and when
mothers
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
full time
Use the right word
full-time
show examples
, they can become exhausted.
For example
Linking Words
, many women experience stress because they cannot give enough attention to their children or because they are too tired after a long day at
work
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it seems difficult for them to be fully effective in
both
Use synonyms
 areas.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe
this
Linking Words
 problem can be reduced with good organisation and social support. In modern societies, fathers share housework more than before, and many families use childcare services.
In addition
Linking Words
, flexible working hours and working from
home
Use synonyms
 make it easier for
mothers
Use synonyms
 to balance their roles.
For instance
Linking Words
, a mother can spend quality time with her children in the evening if she works remotely during the day. In conclusion, I do not agree that it is impossible for working
mothers
Use synonyms
 to succeed at
home
Use synonyms
 and
work
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 it is challenging, with family support and modern working conditions, many women can be effective in
both
Use synonyms
 roles.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Add one or two clear real examples to show your point.
organization
Keep the plan simple: intro, two body paragraphs, and a short ending.
vocabulary
Use short, common words to be easy to read.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words to show how they fit together.
content
Clear view and a balance between sides.
coherence
Good use of sign posts like On the one hand and In addition.
content
Reason and flow connect to life at home and work.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • prioritization
  • stereotype
  • dual roles
  • support systems
  • child care services
  • flexible hours
  • remote work options
  • parenting responsibilities
  • technological advancements
  • societal norms
  • maternity leave
  • family-friendly workplace cultures
  • productivity
  • retention rates
What to do next:
Look at other essays: