IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some expert believe that ia better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?

Nowadays
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Nowadays,
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children
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 are very lucky
,
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;
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 in
fact
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fact,
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 they can easily learn a second
language
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 on
internet
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the internet
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,
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apply
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instead
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when
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When
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 I
a
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apply
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was a child
to
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, to
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 learn a new
language
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we
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, we
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 had to attend lessons at
school
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and
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, and
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,
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apply
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 if we wanted to learn it
better
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better,
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 we had to attend private lessons in the afternoon. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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 nowadays being able to speak
in
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apply
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english
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English
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 is very important, in
fact
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fact,
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 everything is getting more and more international
and
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, and
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,
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apply
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 the only
way
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 to deal with it is to speak a common
language
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which
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, which
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 usually is
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english
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English
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.
For
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this
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reason
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reason,
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children
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 are very lucky
and
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, and
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 if I were
them
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them,
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 I would spend a great part of my time doing exercises and even playing in
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english
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English
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, things that you can easily do with the IA. A lot of people thinks
that is
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 better for
children
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 to start learning a foreign
language
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 from secondary
school
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 but, as a lot of experts have already said, before they start studying before they will be able to speak it and maybe, once they are at secondary
school
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, they wil be able to go abroad and maybe even to study abroad, which is the only
way
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 to learn, in a almost perfect
way
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, a foreign
language
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. So my suggestion is to start studying
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english
Fix capitalization
English
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 as soon as possible
in
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. In
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this
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way
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, once at secondary
school
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, you will be able to travel and study abroad
and
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, and
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 in
this
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way
Add a comma
way,
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 you are going to learn it even better.
in
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In
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conclusion
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conclusion,
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 I would like to say that nowadays
children
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 are very lucky
also
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 because
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english
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English
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 is a very important subject at
school
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so
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, so
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 you study it a lot and
also
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 in a great
way
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 even at
school
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.

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organization
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with a short intro that says what you will talk about. Then give 2-3 points and end with a clear view.
cohesion
Use simple link words to show flow, for example 'first', 'also', 'however', 'therefore'.
task
Answer the task directly. Say if you think the good parts of starting early are bigger than the bad parts and give a clear yes or no in your final line.
content
Use concrete examples to back up points. For instance, you can talk about how kids learn at a young age with games or at home online.
language
Check grammar and spelling, especially capitalization of English, and fix words like 'IA' to 'AI' or 'online'.
content
The text shows a real idea about how early learning can help travel and study.
style
It uses many everyday words, which helps readers read well.
structure
The essay has a clear end with a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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