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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The charts give information about the tonnage of
pineapple
Use synonyms
 export for three countries in the years 2009 and 2019, and the equivalent amount of each
pineapple
Use synonyms
 broken down into its parts for the latter year. In summary,
Country
Use synonyms
 A has dominated the market of
pineapple
Use synonyms
 export by 2019,
while
Linking Words
 the distribution & retail alone
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 accountable for one third of the consumer price of each
pineapple
Use synonyms
. Regarding the production, countries A and C showed an increase in their manufacturing ;
however
Linking Words
,
Country
Use synonyms
 A's jump from being as little as 1 million tonne to around 10 million was far superior to
Country
Use synonyms
 C's less than 1 tonne growth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Country
Use synonyms
 C assembly saw the reverse trend by falling from somewhere around 5 to below 2 tonnes by the end of 2019. About the consumer figure breakdown,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the percentage of profit was around the same as the taxes paid (18% and 16% respectively) for one single
pineapple
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the majority of the cost was coming from Distribution and retail, the next two big shares went to International transport fees , holding 12% and
then
Linking Words
 Import Licences , having 10 % of the total.
Finally
Linking Words
, production and Export costs could be categorised together (5% and 4%).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pineapple, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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