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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information on wages of Somecountry over a ten-year period. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown.

The graph below gives information on wages of Somecountry over a ten-year period. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown.
The graph illustrates the percentages of
salary
Use synonyms
 in some countries from 1993 to 2003. Generally, the
salary
Use synonyms
 percentages experienced a slight
decrese
Correct your spelling
decrease
at the end
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
 despite a growth
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
half
Check wording
middle
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
.
Initially
Linking Words
, in 1993, the
salary
Use synonyms
 rates
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 2 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to double in the next year.
However
Linking Words
, it fell slightly to 3 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1995 and 1996. Evidently, the proportion increased significantly
two
Change preposition
by two
show examples
 times in 1998
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation became the highest
percentation
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
salary
Use synonyms
amongs
Correct your spelling
during
 the
period
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 1999, the
salary
Use synonyms
 dropped drastically to 3 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to
fell
Wrong verb form
fall
show examples
 with almost 1 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2002. In the
last
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
 in 2003, the proportion
rebound
Wrong verb form
rebounded
show examples
 to approximately 2 per
cent
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 condition has remained the same from
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
show examples
 year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words salary, period, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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