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Writing Samples
Band 4

14.With computers and the Internet, people can study and work without going to school or a company. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

These days, telecommuting and online education
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become increasingly common
due to
Linking Words
 enhancements in technology.
While
Linking Words
 there are both benefits and drawbacks to
this
Linking Words
 trend, its advantages are far more significant. Admittedly, working and studying online can have numerous disadvantages. First of all, it significantly reduces
face to face
Use the right word
face-to-face
show examples
 communication. By telecommuting and learning from home, individuals are not likely to meet their coworkers or classmates.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, they will struggle in social settings and may suffer from loneliness. Children would, especially, be at a major
disadvanatges
Correct your spelling
disadvantage
, not being able to learn social skills.
In addition
Linking Words
, collaboration skills would be affected negatively. To be more exact, were people study and
work
Use synonyms
 from home, they would have to depend on their own, not having an opportunity to seek help from their coworkers or classmates.
For example
Linking Words
, if an employee in
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
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 section has a problem with their computer software, they cannot seek help from their coworkers who are studying
comuter
Correct your spelling
computer
 engineering.
This
Linking Words
, in turn, leaves them with no choice but to fix it themselves, wasting a lot of
time
Use synonyms
. Telecommuting,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, offers
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
 more important benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it saves
time
Use synonyms
 on commuting. Since workers and learners no longer have to go to their workplace or
shcool
Correct your spelling
school
, they can allocate more
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their own
work
Use synonyms
, thereby enhancing their productivity. It is particularly practical for those who live far away from their
work
Use synonyms
 but are occupied with lots of
work
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is more flexible. Having access to
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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, students can attend lessons regardless of the weather and their condition.
For instance
Linking Words
, even in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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cold and snowy conditions, parents can be sure their children are safe from seasonal diseases, including fewer and cold,
while
Linking Words
 studying.
As a result
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, they can be present in
everyday
Check wording
day
show examples
 in their
shcool
Correct your spelling
school
 or workplace. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 online working and studying
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 numerous drawbacks,
such
Linking Words
 as reducing in-person meetings and cooperation skills,
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
advanatges
Correct your spelling
advantages
 overshadow
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
disadvanatges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 since it can be
Use synonyms
time saving
Use the right word
time-saving
show examples
 and more flexible.

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organization
Keep the main idea clear in every paragraph. Start with a line that states your view on the topic.
coherence
Use clear topic sentences and link words to guide the reader. Use simple linking words like 'also', 'but', 'however'.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar: watch for 'has' vs 'have', 'disadvantages', 'school', 'computer'.
lexical
Use examples that relate to the point. Do not use too long or strange phrases.
task response
Make a strong conclusion that restates your view.
content
The essay shows a clear stance that online work and study can bring benefits.
structure
There are good transitions like 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', 'In conclusion'.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Flexibility
  • Accessibility
  • Customization
  • Work-life balance
  • Remote assessments
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Discipline
  • Collaboration
  • Isolation
  • Hands-on experience
  • Technological divide
  • Digital literacy
  • Hybrid model
  • Infrastructure
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