IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some scientists believe intelligent life forms may exist on other planets and some want to send messages to space to contact with these life forms. But other scientists believe it is a bad idea and it could be dangerous. Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion.

Many
scienstists
Correct your spelling
scientists
 have the thought
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that being alone in
this
Linking Words
 endless universe is almost impossible and
therefore
Linking Words
 contend that humans should send messages to
space
Use synonyms
 to find intelligent
life
Use synonyms
. Others maintain that it poses many dangers to contact other
life
Use synonyms
 forms. I fully support that sending messages into
space
Use synonyms
 has more negatives than positives. When thinking about contacting extraterrestrial lifeforms, the main reason is usually highly advanced technology and trading
ressources
Correct your spelling
resources
. In most movies that are about
space
Use synonyms
, aliens have the most advanced technology and are ahead of humans by
millenias
Correct your spelling
millennia
.
This
Linking Words
 means
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the purpose of
space
Use synonyms
 messaging
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is harvesting valuable
ressources
Correct your spelling
resources
 and collecting
high tech
Use the right word
high-tech
show examples
 research.
However
Linking Words
, the main issue of sending
space
Use synonyms
 messages is the
attachement
Correct your spelling
attachment
 of
earth´
Use the right word
Earth´s
show examples
 location. By doing so, any intelligent lifeform can prepare for war against
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
 without people even knowing.
For instance
Linking Words
, looking at people and intelligent animals, war is always a part of
life
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it should not be a surprise for any alien
life
Use synonyms
 form to
counquer
Correct your spelling
conquer
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of trading and especially sharing their research
giving
Punctuation problem
, giving
show examples
 humans an advantage against them. In conclusion, sharing the location of
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
 with
Use synonyms
space- like
Use the right word
space-like
show examples
 voyager one already did- most likely comes with
unforseen
Correct your spelling
unforeseen
 dangers that cannot be reversed. In summary,
while
Linking Words
 the thought of sharing research and trading
ressources
Correct your spelling
resources
 with
extraterrestial
Correct your spelling
extraterrestrial
life
Use synonyms
 sounds beneficial at
first,
Linking Words
looking at how intelligent
life
Use synonyms
 forms treat each other and those less fortunate than them
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 is almost certainly a bad idea.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language use
Fix grammar and spelling. Use shorter, clear sentences.
content
Show both sides more. Give more detail for why people may think space talk is good and why it may be bad.
structure
Make a clear plan in your writing: intro, 2–3 body parts, and a short ending.
content
Add more useful examples to back each idea. Do not rely only on films.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas and keep a steady flow.
content
The writer states a clear view: they do not like space talk.
content
The essay uses an example (Voyager) to support a point.
structure
There is a sense of order with intro, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: