In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In
this
economy, some notions are encouraging little ones that by trying their best and putting a great effort into anything, they will eventually be successful in their chosen path. In my perspective,
this
mindset
is not accurate and its drawbacks outweigh the benefits. First and foremost,
always
Change preposition
by always
show examples
telling kids to keep up the good job and to try hard, we might inspire them to follow their dreams to reach them in a shorter period of time.
This
might
also
encourage them to be a warrior for their dreams
instead
of daydreaming, to chase until they become successful. For some individuals,
this
mindset
may be the best
way
of encouragement, since, some of their own parents used to tell them to work harder every day in life because they may believe that nothing can be achieved without hard work.
On the other hand
, pushing children to run for their goals and trying every day for that, will cause them depression
as well as
exhaustion. In
this
case, they will grow up thinking that taking rests is not essential because they will have to perform in the best
way
possible in their whole life.
This
mindset
,
furthermore
, can lead to serious mental issues, like depression.
For instance
, as they
are growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
older,
this
way
of thinking might put them in a cage of thoughts like not being enough, as they believe that trying hard is the only solution to the difficulties in life.
This
will
also
become a
way
for comparison.
For example
, in school there might be some students who perform better than them, so they will compare themselves to others, having the
mindset
that they only deserve to be the winner and nobody else.
To sum up
, in my opinion, some people are making a terrible mistake by putting their kids in the same position that hard work is the only
way
to success and causing some undeniable issues in the near future.
Submitted by vaniaa.z.h2005 on

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task achievement
Introduce a clear thesis statement in your introduction to outline the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss. This makes your argument clearer to the reader from the beginning.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate both advantages and disadvantages more vividly. General statements are less persuasive than concrete examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow between paragraphs with better use of linking words and phrases. This will enhance the cohesion between your main points.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarizing the main advantages and disadvantages discussed, and restate your personal opinion, providing a well-rounded closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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