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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

It is undeniable that an increasing number of
people
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 in many countries are becoming interested in discovering the
history
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 of the house or building they live in. The reason is that
people
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 are curious about the strength or age of houses to avoid unnecessary costs or environmental risks, and nowadays, dwellers can access
this
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 information through technology. The reason why many
people
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 are becoming interested in finding out the
history
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 of accommodations is to know the strength or age of the buildings. They believe that knowing the background of the property will help them decide whether they should buy it or not. If the property is not strong or is too old, they may need to repair it after they buy it.
In addition
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, researching the house can
also
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 save lives for some
people
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 who live in countries where earthquakes occur.
For example
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,
people
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 have suffered from the effects of earthquakes because they did not research the houses they lived in, and some even died under collapsed buildings.
Therefore
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, when it comes to accommodations,
people
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 are increasingly interested in learning about their
history
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. When it comes to discovering the
history
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 of a residence, there are many ways to research it through both technology and former owners.
For instance
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, nowadays,
people
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 can find information about buildings by using the internet or social media platforms.
Moreover
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, they can check with the previous owner by meeting in person or connecting online. In
this
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 way,
people
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 can easily find out the background of properties.
To conclude
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, many dwellers are developing an interest in discovering the background of accommodations by using advanced technology or by connecting with ex-owners to avoid unnecessary costs or risks from environmental factors.

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content
Add more clear ideas and explain each with a simple example.
cohesion
Use one idea per paragraph and link them with simple words (and, so, but, also, for example).
structure
Make the intro clear. State what you will talk about and why it matters.
grammar
Check grammar. Use common word forms and fix small errors.
lexical
Keep to common words from easy lists and avoid hard word choice.
structure
Clear order of parts: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
content
Good examples like earthquakes and online search help back points.
purpose
Main idea links to buying and risk.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical research
  • Genealogy
  • Architectural styles
  • Heritage
  • Relics
  • Oral history
  • Archival records
  • Museum exhibits
  • Historical societies
  • House tours
  • Renovation projects
  • Original blueprints
  • Careful documentation
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