IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Companies invest millions of dollars in advertising to persuade consumers to buy their products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages for the consumer?

In today`s fast-paced world, brands allocate a huge budget to advertise their
products
Use synonyms
, so customer choose their items
on
Change preposition
in
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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 place. In my opinion, the benefits of
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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campagins
Correct your spelling
campaigns
 outweigh the disadvantages for
costomers
Correct your spelling
customers
, as they may be aware
about
Change preposition
of
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 new
products
Use synonyms
 in the market and they can try
,
Correct pronoun usage
them, while
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Linking Words
while
Change preposition
whereas
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 if
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 does not know
the
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about the
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thing
Punctuation problem
thing,
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then
Linking Words
 they miss the benefits of the item.
To begin
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 with,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 of the advertisements of the new
products
Use synonyms
 and their features.
Due to
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this
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,
people
Use synonyms
 may get knowledge about
same
Correct article usage
the same
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products
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 they used, but can
also
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 know about new updates and versions of the same thing.
Moreover
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, everyone
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 various and minor health issues, sometimes they may ignore
, but
Correct pronoun usage
them, but
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 through
adds
Use the right word
ads
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 they may understand the solutions
of
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to
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such
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 health problems.
For example
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, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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research done by Western Sydney University which says 60%
of
Use the right word
or
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 less major physical issues
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as knee pain, skin and hair
damges
Correct your spelling
damage
, are corrected by online
advertisement
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advertisements
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 from social media.
On the other hand
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, many drawbacks can
cause
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occur
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,
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apply
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 if
people
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 buy anything via promotion.
As a result
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, buying
a
Correct article usage
an
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 item or medicine from
Correct article usage
an unothorised
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unothorised
Correct your spelling
unauthorised
 person or a poster
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 can end up with
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of money, and might not get
affective
Use the right word
effective
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 outcomes from
item
Correct article usage
the item
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.
Furthermore
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,
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
 made from some websites and apps, lead us to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
victim
Fix the agreement mistake
victims
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 of fraud and can cheat
people
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 with wrong delivery.
For instance
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, there was an article in the Times of India which mentioned 50 per cent attractive
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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 are
mosty
Correct your spelling
mostly
 fake, for the
pupose
Correct your spelling
purpose
 of cheating, so
people
Use synonyms
 must buy a product from an authorised source. In conclusion, the drawbacks are
consumers
Correct word choice
that consumers
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 may be cheated by attractive and expensive posters of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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, but in my view, there are more benefits
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as easy problem solution and
make
Wrong verb form
making
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people
Use synonyms
 aware
about
Change preposition
of
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 the markets is the pros which outweigh the cons.

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improvement
Be clear on your view in the first line and keep one main idea in each paragraph.
improvement
Use one idea per paragraph and begin with a clear topic sentence.
improvement
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, so, also to help flow.
improvement
Fix spelling and grammar; use short, clear sentences.
strength
There is a plan with intro, body, and end.
strength
You show balance with phrases like on the one hand and on the other hand.
strength
You give some examples to back your point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertising expenditure
  • consumer awareness
  • impulsive buying
  • economic impact
  • materialism
  • consumer debt
  • misleading advertisements
  • consumer trust
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