Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development, however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages

Some countries plan to strengthen living standards through economic development,
whereas
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others consider that social value is lost
as a result
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.
This
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policy brings pros and cons to society, and these effects will be discussed in the following paragraphs. In my opinion, I align with the positive side on
this
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issue. First of all, improving the level of living is the most common policy when
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
country
Use synonyms
develops its
economics
Replace the word
economy
show examples
. It has caused many positive effects in public.
For example
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,
people
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who live in a developed
country
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enjoy a well-caring environment and become healthier.
In addition
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, the high-level life usually accompanies a better transportation system, so the resident can be more efficient in daily life.
Besides
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, a high standard of living can
also
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attract
people
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who are wealthy to move into the
country
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.
Thus
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, the government wants to improve the local living standard.
On the other hand
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, others argue that social value is lost
as a result
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. The most common effect is that life expenses will increase.
For example
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, the business needs to pay
much
Fix the agreement mistake
a lot of
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money for hiring waiters, so the cost of the service will increase.
Moreover
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, the
country
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becomes more crowded, because there are too many
people
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moving into there.
Also
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, renewing
old
Correct article usage
an old
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apartment usually
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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that
people
Use synonyms
need to destroy the historic building. From my perspective, I think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because of the reasons that are mentioned above. In conclusion, there are still some problems in society. If the government can solve these drawbacks, it will bring more benefits to the public.

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task response
Make your idea clear from the start. State your view in one short sentence, then give two or three strong points for both sides, and finish with a clear end line.
coherence
Use simple and clean links to join ideas. Words like First, Also, But, However, In addition, Finally help readers follow your plan.
grammar
Check your grammar and word choice. Use easy forms and common words. Correct phrases like 'living standard', 'cost of living', and 'transport' to fit the idea.
relevance
Give more concrete and small facts or examples to back up each point when you can.
structure
Clear plan with a start, body, and end.
balanced view
Shows both sides and gives a view.
coherence
Good use of linking words to show order.
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