Some people think that it is worth researching different minerals ( coal, diamonds, copper, uranium, … ) in space. Others, however, disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. [664]

Learning about other planets and what they consist of can affect our lives in many ways.
Furthermore
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, humans have always wanted to explore the vast universe, and
this
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chance can potentially make it more profitable.
As a result
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, I can say that
this
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work is worth doing and should be considered to be done sooner.
Although
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travelling to other places in space can be troublesome, it can help humankind get to know its surroundings better. With new technology tools like state-of-the-art satellites and spacecraft, looking through the enormous void is now much more convenient.
This
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can help find valuable materials with ease. Discovering the so-called stones, including rare ones, could have an impact on scientists' research procedures.
Additionally
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, unknown minerals can be in the process, which can be gathered for more observations in case they have benefits for the Earth's residents.
Secondly
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,
this
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can be helpful if a chemical compound is in short supply on Earth.
For example
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, gold and diamonds are so expensive, and it is
due to
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the fact that they are rare compared to other stones.
Consequently
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, by finding more of their resource and transferring them, the problem of the shortage will be solved.
Thus
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,
this
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will lower their price and make them more affordable.
Overall
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, finding more about the outer world can alter our view and will possibly solve some of our problems.
Nevertheless
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, it can have consequences, but that can not stop
this
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from happening because I think that the weight of its advantages is heavier than its detriments. And so, I believe
this
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can help people in many ways.

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Task Response
Discuss both sides of the issue and give a clear personal view. The essay mostly argues one side; add a paragraph to show the other view and then give your own clear stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make the flow smoother. Use a clear topic sentence in each paragraph and use linking words to connect ideas (for example, 'first', 'also', 'however', 'in addition').
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Watch long sentences and grammar. Use simple, short sentences sometimes. Check punctuation and avoid run-on ideas.
Lexical Resource
Choose clear words for ideas. Some phrases seem odd (like 'stones'). Use the common words to name minerals or resources.
Task Response
Finish with a clear conclusion that states your view again and sums up the points.
Task Response
The text has a clear view that space study can be useful.
Coherence
There is a simple plan in the flow with steps like 'first' and 'secondly'.
Examples/Content
Good use of an example about gold and diamonds.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: