ii. #Health | #Sports - Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. (IELTS 9, AC)

Some people argue that if
rise
Correct word order
apply
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the
opcions
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options
of sports facilities
, public
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rise, public
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health
has improved
Wrong verb form
improves
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.
For
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On
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the other hand, others
,
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apply
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say that different ways have been studied
for
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to
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improve the good
commun
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communication
. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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i
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I
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tray
Use the right word
try
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to explore
both
Use synonyms
points
view
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of view
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and give my personal opinion.
Firstly
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,
One
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one
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piece of the population
believe
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believes
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that
the
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apply
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sporth
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sports
activities like
do
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doing
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exercices
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exercises
can improve the health
condicion
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condition
.
In addition
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, medical
reachers
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researchers
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has
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have
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been
support
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supporting
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this
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opinion.
For
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example
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example,
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30 minutes for
walk
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a walk
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in the park every day, can be crucial for
reduction
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reducing
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the
risgh
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risk
the
attact
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attack
to
heart
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the heart
show examples
.
Secondly
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, other groups have
different
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a different
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argument
,
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;
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in fact,
the
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apply
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public health
politics
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policy
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no is
Rephrase
is not
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only
physical
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about physical
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activity,
is
Verb problem
but also
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fundamental
have
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having
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a
balance
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balanced
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diet,
both
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can
be
Verb problem
help
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perfect to goal the best
result
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results
show examples
.
Nowdays
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Nowadays
show examples
,
doctor
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doctors
show examples
has
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have
show examples
been
warming
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warning
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that reduced levels of sugar and
grasas
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fats
is
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are
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the most important aspect for
care
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caring for
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your heart. In my opinion,
both
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are the best together, people need
a
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an
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integral life, move their
bodys
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bodies
, keep good habits and take care
their
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of their
show examples
food. Research results
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
been
illustred
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illustrated
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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possible
increased
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to increase
show examples
the life
of
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expectancy of
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the
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apply
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people when have a balance. In conclusion,
both
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point
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points
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are correct and can be better if worked together. In
publics
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public
show examples
politics is
essencial
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essential
of
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for
show examples
Correct article usage
the rol
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rol
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role
of the government for stablics regulation for junk food and
incentived
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incentivised
activities
acroos
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across
the
commuties
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communities
.

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planning
Plan your essay before you write. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
coherence
Use clear links between ideas. Use words like first, next, also, but, finally.
argument
Stick to one clear view. If you give your own opinion, say it simply and support it.
language
Use correct spell and form. Keep short and simple sentences.
content
You discuss both views and end with your own view.
content
You show a care for health topics.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health
  • sport
  • facility
  • facilities
  • public
  • improve
  • increase
  • number
  • more
  • less
  • view
  • idea
  • plan
  • program
  • money
  • cost
  • spend
  • access
  • move
  • walk
  • bike
  • park
  • street
  • safe
  • habit
  • people
  • city
  • education
  • diet
  • exercise
  • activity
  • result
  • effect
  • support
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