Mobile phones and the internet bring a lot of benefits to people nowadays. However, older people use them the least. In what aspects do mobile phones and the internet benefit older people? How can we encourage them to use these technologies?

With the rapid development of technology, our daily
becomes
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become
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more convenient these days, especially
the
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with the
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invention of cellphones and
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internet
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the internet
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.
Although
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elderlies
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the elderly
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use
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them the least, they still have several advantages. And there are several ways
c
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apply
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an motivate them to
use
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these modern tools. With the mobile phones and the
internet
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, older people can track their health status at
anytime
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any time
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.
Such
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as
those
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apply
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patients with diabetes, it is good for them to monitor
there
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their
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blood sugar every
hours
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hour
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.
Moreover
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, it can prevent some tragedies
happened
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from happening
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. If an old grandpa who
live
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lives
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alone
fall
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falls
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down in his bathroom. He may
struggled
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have struggled
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to
asked
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ask
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for help, but he can be rescued by others easily
with
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by
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calling 911.
Besides
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, he can
also
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chats
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chat
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and
gets
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get
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in touch with his son and daughter, which can reduce his loneliness. There are several ways to encourage these seniors to
use
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the tools.
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Firstly
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Firstly,
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governments can cut the prices of the phones and
internet
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package
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packages
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. These can make
them
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it
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easier to buy those new technologies.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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families should be more patient
to teach
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in teaching
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these
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the
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elderlies
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elderly
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how to operate
cellphone
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cellphones
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and
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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. Since old people might be used to
live
Wrong verb form
living
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in
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at
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there
Use the right word
their
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own pace, it is hard for them to get familiar with these new fancy technologies in the short term, which might
let
Verb problem
make
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them feel frustrated and exclude the tools.
Therefore
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,
e
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apply
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teaching them step-by-step is essential and suitable. In conclusion, mobile phones and the
internet
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bring a bunch of advantages. But it is not simple for older people to
use
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. So we have to teach them with love and patience, to let them become familiar with those technologies as soon as possible. Make their life safer and more convenient.

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structure
Make a plan for the writing. Start with a short intro, then two parts on how phones help and how to teach them, then a short end.
grammar
Use simple words. Check grammar and spelling so dull forms are not seen.
content
Add 1-2 small examples for each idea to show how it helps.
content
The essay notes health tracking and kept touch as main good effects.
idea
It shows ideas to help elders with price cuts and step-by-step teaching.
relevance
It links safety with use of the tech in an emergency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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