IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the map below shows an industerial area in the town of Norbiton,and planned future development of the site

the map below shows an industerial area in the town of Norbiton,and planned future development of the site
The maps above illustrate the plan of an industrial area in the town of Norbiton
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and the future plan of the site.
Overall
Linking Words
, the map shows that
Norbiton
Correct article usage
the Norbiton
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 industrial area consists of eight large factories, and two main roads connected by a large roundabout
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 addition to a large
farm land
Check wording
area of farmland
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 across the river. The future plans for the city are to turn it into a residential area with all the communities' needs like school, playground, shops and a medical centre. All the factories will be demolished and replaced with housing,
while
Linking Words
 the main roads,
in addition
Linking Words
 to the roundabout, will be kept.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a smaller roundabout will be added to the southern street alongside some additional street
Punctuation problem
. in
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in
Change preposition
Further
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further
Linking Words
 east side
a
Change preposition
of a
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large school will be built, next to it will be a playground and across the playground, a medical centre will be located
across
Punctuation problem
, across
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 the street from some small shops. Meanwhile, in the
north
Add a comma
north,
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 a bridge will be constructed to connect some housing placed there , and
finally
Linking Words
, the farmland will be moved to the east alongside the river.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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