IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

It is undeniable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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organizations
Use the right word
organisations
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 are becoming emphasized to be new
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 in any way in their advertising.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 are focusing on finding
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ways for their
products
Use synonyms
 and provide the effects
on
Change preposition
of
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 it.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the two reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 are focusing on their
products
Use synonyms
to be
Wrong verb form
being
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 modest when they are
adverting
Verb problem
advertising
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one reason is in order to boost their sales by
adverting
Verb problem
advertising
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 with brand-new
products
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 had
i-phones
Correct your spelling
iPhones
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 new and
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 iPhone 12, they are willing to buy if
new
Correct article usage
a new
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mode
Use the right word
model
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i-phone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
 13 comes out.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is the best way to persuade the
customers
Use synonyms
 and to be
well- know
Replace the word
well-known for
show examples
 their
products
Use synonyms
. The
i-phone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
 company advertise their gadgets changing new
design
Fix the agreement mistake
designs
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 or
updating it
Wrong verb form
updates
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 to get
attentions
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
show examples
 from
customers
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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commercial operations are focusing
to make
Change preposition
on making
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 their
products
Use synonyms
to be
Verb problem
apply
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new
for
Change preposition
to
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grasping
Verb problem
attract
show examples
 their
customers
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I believe that the phenomenon of
emphasizing
Use the right word
emphasising
show examples
 product sales through
adverting
Use the right word
advertising
show examples
 is an advantage, which might develop creativity and profits for business players. Companies are making their goods to be updated and
adverting
Verb problem
advertising
show examples
 on social
medias
Fix the agreement mistake
media
show examples
 so that consumers to know about their
products
Use synonyms
. As part of the
customers
Use synonyms
, they are able to
change
Verb problem
replace
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 their old
products
Use synonyms
 by purchasing new
Use synonyms
products
Check wording
ones
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in Singapore normally
used
Wrong verb form
use
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 their goods for at most one year
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they are eager to change their goods every end of
Correct article usage
the years
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years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
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 by replacing
with
Correct pronoun usage
them with
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 new
.
Correct pronoun usage
ones.
show examples
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 development for the
customers
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 nowadays normally concentrate on their
products
Use synonyms
 to be new
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 any
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 in their
adverting
Use the right word
advertising
show examples
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to boost their sales rates and persuade
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 is not
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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develop
Replace the word
development
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 since
customers
Use synonyms
 are easy to change
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
products
Use synonyms
 by replacing
with
Correct pronoun usage
them with
show examples
 new ones.

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grammar
Fix big grammar mistakes and wrong word use in many sentences.
coherence
Make the ideas act in a clear order. First point, second point, then a clear end.
examples
Add more clear facts or proof for each idea so the point feels strong.
task focus
Give a clear view at the start and restate it in the end so the writer shows a firm view.
structure
There is a clear plan with an intro and a conclusion.
examples
The work uses an example (iPhone) to back a point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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