IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Transportation infrastructure is the main artery of a country's development, connecting different regions, transmitting goods,and bridging people. Some suggest that
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should
prioritize
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prioritise
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railways
Use synonyms
 over
Use synonyms
roads
Punctuation problem
roads,
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whereas
Linking Words
 I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society would benefit from striking a balance between constructing
railways
Use synonyms
 and
roads
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. Undeniably ,
railways
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 excel in
long distance
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long-distance
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travel
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 and lorry transport, making them essential for national connectivity.
Also
Linking Words
, the widespread use of
high speed
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high-speed
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 trains boosts the traffic efficiency, promotes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economy
Replace the word
economic
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 growth by
deeping
Correct your spelling
deepening
 the connection between cities.
For example
Linking Words
, the thick rail network between Shanghai and Hangzhou allows talents across all industries to shuttle back and forth for communication, trade or others. To some extent, it stimulates technological
advance
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advances
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 and
economy
Replace the word
economic
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increasement
Correct your spelling
increase
of
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in
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delta
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the delta
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 of
Yangtze
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the Yangtze
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river
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River
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. In spite of
railways
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' advantages that surpass
roads
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, the latter are irreplaceable for
short distance
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short-distance
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travel
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 and flexibility.
Car
Fix the agreement mistake
Cars
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 and buses provide convenience for daily commutes, shopping, and visiting suburban regions where
railways
Use synonyms
 aren't feasible. Mountainous areas rely more on
roads
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 than rails
due to
Linking Words
 the challenges of constructing railway tracks, especially like Guizhou
province
Check wording
apply
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, China,
didn't
Correct pronoun usage
which didn't
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 complete the comprehensive utility of
high speed
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high-speed
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railways
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untill Octorber
Correct your spelling
until October
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 2025. From
this
Linking Words
 perspective, balanced development could address the limitations of each mode.
For instance
Linking Words
, a city can build
railways
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 to handle intercity
travel
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 and reduce congestion, meanwhile improving local
roads
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 to ensure connectivity for residents. In China, many cities have integrated high-speed rail stations with bus and subway networks, allowing passengers to switch between transport modes smoothly. The collaboration not only enhances
travel
Use synonyms
 convenience but
also
Linking Words
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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over all
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overall
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 carbon
emission
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emissions
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 by encouraging people to use public transport. In conclusion,
railways
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 and
roads
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 serve distinct but complementary roles in a national transportation system.
Goverments
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Governments
 should not
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
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 one over the other
,
Punctuation problem
;
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instead
Linking Words
, they ought to allocate the funds based
the
Change preposition
on the
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 regional requirements. A balanced approach ensures comprehensive connectivity, supports sustainable development.

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task response
Be clear on your main view in the first line and make it restate in the last line.
structure
Use short, clear sentences and put one idea in each paragraph. Use clear links to join ideas.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar mistakes and choose simple word choices.
task response
The idea of balanced work between rail and road is clear.
coherence
The essay uses real place examples like Shanghai and Guizhou.
cohesion
There is a good flow with linking words that guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
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