IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The given table displays the origins of funds for police budget, while the pie charts depict the rates of money, that police spent over a 2-year period.

The given table displays the origins of funds for police budget, while the pie charts depict the rates of money, that police spent over a 2-year period.
pie
Fix capitalization
Pie
show examples
 charts illustrate the data about
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
 budget in
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 between 2017 and 2018. The table depicts the expenditure of the money in Britain.
Overall
Linking Words
,
police
Correct article usage
the police
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 budget’s total increased, because of the ascendance of the Local Taxes.
While
Linking Words
 money usage
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
slightly decreased in 2018. The data is given
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
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pounds
Change preposition
of pounds
show examples
 The rate relating to
National
Correct article usage
the National
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 Government increased slightly from 175.5m to 177.8m. Local taxes experienced huge growth from 91.2m to 102.3m.
While
Linking Words
 other sources as
grants
Punctuation problem
grants,
show examples
 faced merely growth, from 38 to 38.5. Total plummeted surprisingly.
Linking Words
Initially
Add a comma
Initially,
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 the rate was 304.7m
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
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 boosted to 318.6m Salaries, commonly for
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 and
officers
Punctuation problem
officers,
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 allocated 75% of the funding.
Due to
Linking Words
 some
reasons
Punctuation problem
reasons,
show examples
 it dropped to 69%. In 2017, the proportion
allocating
Wrong verb form
allocated
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on
Change preposition
to
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 technology increased from 8% to 14%. Money which
distributed
Verb problem
was distributed
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 for Buildings and transport remained steady
inn
Use the right word
in
show examples
 both years

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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