IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is quite common these days that many youngsters in nations tend to choose to enrol in
endeavor-based
Use the right word
vocational
show examples
 training
instead
Linking Words
 of going to university. It is my belief that the benefits of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon would indubitably offset its disadvantages. There certainly are several drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 participating in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work-based training ,
such
Linking Words
 as the lack of the kind of work that people actually want to study.
For instance
Linking Words
, China's work-based
schools
Use synonyms
 mostly teach students about blue-collar work ,
thus
Linking Words
 the workforce force mostly of mechanics and civil electricians.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the studying environment is completely different from normal universities, where the teachers will be very aggressive and sometimes use foul language
to
Change preposition
towards
show examples
 students. It had been reported that students in many work-based training programs are being exploited and harmed in various ways.
Therefore
Linking Words
, consideration should be taken for the accountability of people before attending.
However
Linking Words
, these kinds of
schools
Use synonyms
 are the best way for companies to gather newly trained labour at a low cost.
For example
Linking Words
, many
logistic
Fix the agreement mistake
logistics
show examples
 companies tend to take in new employees from these
schools
Use synonyms
 and train them more to be their permanent workforce, which would result in a win-win situation for both parties.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 very efficient to accumulate more experience from the
schools
Use synonyms
.Thames- a newspaper brand, has reported that it is twice as fast to accumulate experience as attending university.
Thus
Linking Words
, choosing it as an alternative option is a great way to boost your career. In conclusion, the surge in young people who chose work-based training as an alternative to college is a phenomenon that I believe will bring more merit than harm.

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task response
Say your view clearly and keep it. Add ideas with real proof and stay on the topic.
coherence
Make lines to link ideas in a clear way. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Use short and simple sentence.
structure
The essay has an intro and a conclusion.
content
There are places where you show two sides of the issue and give a view.
coherence
You use words that show contrast, like however.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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