IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (Discuss both views).

in
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In
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 the
beginning
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beginning,
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 iam going to write about older school children and what
subjects
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should they
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they should
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 learn
,
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.
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iam
Wrong verb form
I'm
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 going to discuss with you about many
subjects
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 and iam going to share with you my opinion about every subject first of all , i agree that older school children should learn deep
subjects
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 that could benefits them in their adults life , but when we give them a wide range
subjects
Use synonyms
 that they can't understand we will never benefits them , that way we will make them worse in understanding deep
subjects
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 as running their own projects or manage their money when they grow up , that way we are going to make it so hard on them if they wanted to learn in the future
in
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On
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 the other hand , if we give them simple
subjects
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 but with a little bit of details , we will make them understand better and love the
subjects
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, specially
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specially
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especially
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 if the
subjects
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 are related to things they love , and step by
step
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step,
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their
Use the right word
they're
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 going to understand a wide range of
subjects
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 and
their
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they're
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 going to be
professiunal
Correct your spelling
professional
 in
thes
Correct your spelling
these
 kinds of
subjects
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in
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In
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 the conclusion ,
yes
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yes,
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 agree
of
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with
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 giving older school children big
subjects
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 , but
i
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I
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 disagree
these
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with these
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subjects
Use synonyms
immediatly
Correct your spelling
immediately
, we
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. We
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 should start with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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simple
subjects
Use synonyms
 with details
and
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, and
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then
Linking Words
 we can give them
biger
Correct your spelling
bigger
 things , because their brains are
in
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at
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Correct article usage
a curtain
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curtain
Use the right word
certain
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 level
we
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. We
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 can't just give them
somthings
Correct your spelling
something
 older than them

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task response
Make your view clear. In the intro, say if you agree with one side. Then give points for and against, and finish with your own view in the last sentence of the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Organi[z]e the text well. Use four parts: introduction, one paragraph for each idea, and a short conclusion. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence and link ideas with simple words.
content
You try to discuss both sides of the issue.
style
The sentences are short and easy to read.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic education
  • cross-disciplinary
  • premature specialization
  • well-rounded personality
  • depth of knowledge
  • mastery
  • cognitive overload
  • expertise
  • academic achievements
  • tailored education
  • informed choices
  • specializations
  • adaptability
  • flexibility
  • foundational knowledge
What to do next:
Look at other essays: